MS and Fear: Maybe I’m Not as Strong as I Thought

Well, we’re a full week into 2015 and I’m just getting over a bug that sat me down on the 29th of December. I woke that morning with a “crinkly” feeling in my chest as if I were breathing around a crumple of aluminum foil in my lungs. Fever, night sweats (so profound I thought I may have been incontinent in the night), chills, pain, cough, and near delirium have followed for over a week. So bad was it that on the morning of the second day I had visions of “the end.” For much of that second day, I lay in a feverish fog. As we know, sustained high body core temperature can bring on pseudo-exacerbation of symptoms. Along with the cascade of old MS symptoms brought on by the flu was a spate of nerve pain that had me feeling as though the skin from my back and legs had been flayed from me, and my muscles sizzled in agony. Curled in a ball under the duvet to keep from freezing as my body temperature climbed, I thought of what life would be like to endure such MS symptoms for a long period. And I realized I wouldn’t. I seldom dwell in a place of fear and MS, and I must admit my thoughts were surely clouded by my condition. Laying there, however, I was quite aware of the fact that this was no way to live my life. They say they lock up the guns on ships so people who suffer seasickness don’t do what their bodies tell them they should do to alleviate their ill. If you’ve ever been really seasick, you’ll know that you just want to die. I kind of felt...
Source: Life with MS - Category: Other Conditions Authors: Tags: multiple sclerosis MS pain MS symptoms Source Type: blogs