When Your Friend Cheats & Wants Your Advice

Your friend tells you they have a secret they need to share: They’ve cheated on their spouse and need your advice on what to do. Do you suggest they tell their partner? Or keep the affair a secret? Do you share how you’d handle the situation? Or do you change the subject and hope they never bring it up again? Recently, on our Facebook page, a Psych Central reader asked how friends can navigate such a thorny situation. To get the answer, we consulted two seasoned relationship experts. Here’s what they said. Listen to your friend. “First and foremost, it is important to hear your friend out,” said Mudita Rastogi, Ph.D, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Arlington Heights, Ill. Make sure you’re really listening to your friend. Be honest. If your friend asks your thoughts on cheating, tell them the truth. “Friends are supposed to act as ethical lighthouses for each other, so it is OK to state your views about infidelity if asked, without sounding judgmental, and without condoning their actions,” Rastogi said. Then refocus on your friend, she said. For instance, you might say: “This sounds like a complicated situation to be in. Personally, I am wary of affairs. How are you feeling about it?” Don’t minimize the affair. Let’s say your friend comes to you and reveals, “I think I’m having an inappropriate relationship at work.” You ask whether it’s sexual. It’s not. So you say, “Oh, no, then it’s fine.” The problem? Emotional affai...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatrists and Psychologists Authors: Tags: Friends General Marriage and Divorce Mental Health and Wellness Relationships Self-Help Adultery Affair Arlington Heights Cheating Cheats Couples Emotional Affair Facebook Family therapy friend's affair help my friend Inf Source Type: blogs