Thanking, Apologizing, Bragging and Blaming: The Power of Words to Transfer Responsibility

In American culture, thanking and apologizing are essential to positive, reciprocal social interaction, while blaming and bragging are seen as negative, undesirable aspects of social interaction. In a novel piece of research, Shereen J. Chaudhry and George Loewenstein identified why some people struggle with a sincere apology (I’m sorry). They start with the premise that thanking and apologizing imply that the speaker is warm, caring, and generous. Nonetheless, they found that a significant number of people believe that saying “I’m sorry” has the hidden cost of making one seem incompetent or weak. Thus, in order to avoid this cost, many will refuse to apologize with the end result being an increase in conflict and relationship distress. Conversely, blaming and bragging, which are intended to give off the appearance of strength and competence, come with the not-so-hidden cost of making the person appear arrogant, pompous, and unkind, and as someone who refuses to take responsibility. According to co-author Shereen J. Chaudhry: “All four of these communications are tools used to transfer responsibility from one person to another. They relay information about credit or blame, and they involve image-based trade-offs between appearing competent and appearing warm.” “Research has shown that these communications — and their absence — can make or break relationships and affect material outcomes ranging from restaurant tips to medical malpracti...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Anger Communication Habits Research Apologizing blaming bragging Nonverbal communication thanking Source Type: blogs