How do you come back after losing a battle?

During my pediatric surgery training, I could easily point out which was the hardest day for the three fellows that were under training on that specific year. It was late evening when I received a call that one of our patients had coded. I was at home, and the drive usually took me exactly seven minutes. Due to social reasons, this patient was in the hospital with us for months (at least that is what my memory recalls) prior to the long-awaited operation that would change his life for better, making it impossible not be extremely emotionally attached to that little boy. He underwent prolonged CPR, followed by open chest cardiopulmonary resuscitation, multiple blood transfusions and hours and hours of sincere efforts to try to bring back who was no longer there. I distinctly remember my attending and I closing his chest, crying and talking how we had to clean him completely and dress him, so we could bring his mother to see him. No medical school prepares you for these types of moments. When you are in the pediatric field, it is always like that. The death of a child never feels like something normal, even when in some cases, due to the nature of the disease, it would be expected; it is still unexpected from the rules of mother nature, unfair and it should not happen. Despite any rationalization or religious beliefs that you might have, it always feel the same. The weight of the thought that you might have contributed to that premature death is a very strong one. This is proba...
Source: Kevin, M.D. - Medical Weblog - Category: General Medicine Authors: Tags: Physician Pediatrics Surgery Source Type: blogs