How Passive-Aggressive Behavior Wrecks Relationships

Passive-aggressive behavior is frustrating. It’s mind baffling. It’s anger provoking. So why do people resort to such relationship-damaging behavior? And why is it so hard to change the pattern? The pattern typically begins innocuously with a “Yes” and a “No” Problem. He says, “Sure, I’ll take care of the task.” then he doesn’t. She calls him on it. He shrugs his shoulders, “No big deal. I said I’d take care of it.” “Yes, but when?” she asks. He says, “Get off my case. I said I’d do it.” She backs off. Time passes. The task is still not done. She brings it up again. “I’m busy now,” he says. “Get off my back, will you? I’ll do it in my own damn time, not yours.” “But you said you’d take care of it last week,” she says with rising anger. “Calm down! You’re hysterical,” he says with increasing disdain. “Look at you; going nuts over nothing!” The pattern typically ends malignantly with “Endless Excuses” and “Fire and Brimstone.” As the above example illustrates, resolving differences is tough when words and actions are not in alignment. Passive-aggressive behavior typically begins in childhood when kids are comparatively powerless, yet are constantly being told what to do. To do things their own way, they learn to fudge their responses to adults, then return to doing whatever it is they want to be doing. Passive-aggressive patterns carry over into adulthood when: You have not learn...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Agitation Anger Communication Relationships Anger Management Conflict Resolution Passive Aggression Resentment Source Type: blogs