It ’s not all in their heads: people with low self-esteem really do have less responsive partners

This study asks us to place a lot of trust in the memories and interpretations of these participants, but if we take their answers at face value, they suggest that partners with low self-esteem want as much support and understanding, but that they go about sharing their bad news and their distress in a rather counter-productive way – for instance, they’ll be inconsistent, sometimes downplaying their feelings, sometimes exaggerating them. Or they’ll be indirect, acting as if something is wrong, but not saying why, as if expecting their partner to be a mind reader. In short, the findings from all three studies suggest that the consistent claim of people with low self-esteem that their partners are rather unresponsive has at least a grain of truth to it. However, it takes two to tango, and it seems those folk who are less assertive and self-confident probably don’t make it very easy for their partners to be responsive and supportive. Sometimes if you’re hurting and you want a shoulder to lean on, the best strategy is be transparent and to ask for help. Cortes and Wood believe their findings may have some practical implications: “Perhaps this research could lead to dyadic level interventions,” they said, “in which LSEs [low self-esteem people] are trained to improve their expression (making it easier for their partners to be responsive), and partners of LSEs are trained to be more responsive (so that LSEs may feel more secure in express...
Source: BPS RESEARCH DIGEST - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Dating Personality Social Source Type: blogs