Trump Signs Executive Order To Ban Life Coaching

This could be one of my last ever posts as I read with sadness last nigh that President Trump signed an executive order looking to ban Life Coaching by the end of of this year. Not only that, but they have declared NLP (neurolinguistic programming) illegal and an act of treason punishable by 20-years of hard rock breaking, or 20-minutes of listening to Trump bang on about how he won the popular vote of the election (whichever seems longer). Press Secretary Sean Sphincter said in a brief statement: “Life Coaching is a cancer of modern society full of really bad hombres. The idea that people will pay other people to help them become more successful, happy and prosperous in life is anathema to the constitution of the United States…..probably. I bet these people all eat tofu, keep dolphins in their backyard and worship goats.” Asked why NLP had been banned with immediate effect, he replied, “NLP, or ‘No Longer Possible’ as we like to call it now (smug smile), involves the use of black magic and requires lots of demons according to our very credible source, Alex Jones, who runs the critically acclaimed Info Wars and is absolutely not certifiably insane. I once heard of a guy that had a phobia removed by NLP and a woman that became more confident after seeing an NLP Practitioner. I ask you, how is that feasible without whipping out a cauldron and mixing some eye of newt, lizard tale, monkey blood, bat claws and MSG and then simmering over a low heat for 6 hours? I...
Source: A Daring Adventure - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Life Coaching Source Type: blogs