There Is No Such Thing As a 'Real Man'

Every week I see another list or article titled something like "How To Know If You're Dating A Real Man." Or I hear a woman on a talk show complaining that she just wants to date a "real man." Well, the sobering truth is that he doesn't exist. I have no problem with the traits that these lists often describe. Strong. A sense of purpose. Loving. Emotionally aware. Patient listener. Great communicator. Respectful. Chivalrous. And then there are the more stereotypical traits. Tattoos. Big biceps. Tall. Loves football. Big beards. Drinks beer. Does ju-jitsu. Drives a fancy car. The cowboy. The quarterback. But having any of the above traits doesn't make them inherently more real than, or superior to, other men. It simply means they are a man that has those traits. While perhaps well-intentioned, using the term "real man" implies that a man who is doing or being the opposite of those traits is somehow a "fake man." An imposter. A fraud. It allows space for a sense of shame, comparison and inferiority. Who are those "real man" articles for, anyhow? The guy who only has six out the 10 traits? If so, then he probably won't feel better about himself after reading how he's lacking four qualities, causing him to show up as a fraud. Or is it written for the guy who is ten out of ten? If so, then I doubt he would he even be reading an article like that. Inherent in these "real man" definitions is the perpetuation of a cookie-cutter mold of masculinity. Even a...

Source: Healthy Living - The Huffington Post - July 28, 2015 Category: Consumer Health News Source Type: news