Doubt, Deferral, and Destiny

Five years ago, if you told me that I would be an entering MD/PhD student, I’d be elated, but if you had told me two years ago — I’d laugh and call you a liar. It’s strange that along my journey to medical school and physician-scientist training, there was such a low point, but one that many medical students can relate to: impostor syndrome during the application cycle. I had been working toward this point throughout college, and before I started writing my applications, I felt reasonably confident in my goal to become a physician-scientist studying cancer biology. Yet the writing process brought my doubts, fears, and perceived inadequacies front and center. I didn’t help myself by perusing Reddit and SDN forums, and I am sad to say that rather than providing me with advice and support, these forums instead exacerbated my own fears and the bad habit of negatively comparing myself to other applicants. My undergraduate university is relatively small, and like many other schools, the medical school application process is overseen strictly by our pre-health committee. At my interview, I presented my MD/PhD materials, but I was very uncertain of my candidacy. This was despite my thousands of hours of research, hundreds of service hours, leadership positions held, and other demonstration of core competencies. I worried the committee would see what I’d been trying to hide for months, that I was nowhere near competent enough to be a physician, let alone a physic...
Source: Academic Medicine Blog - Category: Universities & Medical Training Authors: Tags: imposter syndrome Source Type: blogs