Even Without the Unicorn
Sunday – Entry 44: It’s been 48 hours since I finished the third draft of my book, and the most complete to date. At first I felt a bit surreal, as if at any moment Randy Jackson from American Idol was going to walk through the door on a unicorn, toss my unfinished manuscript in my face, then say, “It was pitchy, dawg!”. Fortunately, this did not happen, though I wouldn’t mind spending some time with him. There is a part of me that wonders if he is far more interesting than the book I just wrote even without the unicorn.From start to finish, this has been a six month journey. I was disappointed to discover t...
Source: The Splintered Mind by Douglas Cootey - December 22, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Tags: ADHD Blogging Depression Journaling Therapizing Writing Source Type: blogs

Great Thrashes of Creativity
Tuesday – Entry 43:As I write my book, I feel sometimes as if it is a writhing, multi-headed hydra escaping my control with great thrashes of creativity. I know that the new writing I am adding to this collection of blog entries will make the book stronger, but I honestly want to see the project end. I’ve been working on it for six months and there are other things I want to write. It’s time to wrap it up. I recall Steve Jobs’ famous words: “Real artists ship.”This was in reference to the Macintosh days when they kept missing deadlines and were racing against the Lisa team. One of the programmers referred to th...
Source: The Splintered Mind by Douglas Cootey - December 11, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Tags: ADHD Journaling Writing Source Type: blogs

Rose Sketch
On a whim… (Source: The Splintered Mind by Douglas Cootey)
Source: The Splintered Mind by Douglas Cootey - December 5, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Tags: Visualizing Source Type: blogs

Fighting Winter Depression with Light Bulbs
It’s time for Winter Depression again. Daylight Savings Time (DST) has struck and suddenly it’s darker during the end of your work day than it was two weeks ago. Although I have clinical Depression year round, I have noticed that every time at this year my mood disorder spikes. I’ve written about Season Affective Disorder before So why was this year harder than previous years? You’d think I’d be prepared.Well, I was prepared — last year. The bulbs only burn for about a year and starting around August my bulbs began to die off. By the time November rolled around, I was desperately trying to replace them. If I th...
Source: The Splintered Mind by Douglas Cootey - November 30, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Tags: Coping Depression Source Type: blogs

Thankful for Thumbs
Wensday – Entry 42:I have had more ticking days since my accident last Spring than the year and a half preceding it. With so much to do the day before Thanksgiving, I can little afford another ticking day. Yet here I am. As my right leg curls and my equilibrium evaporates, I find my mental acuity also impaired. This affects speech, organization, and productivity. Blessedly, I can still communicate with a keyboard. My WPM is severely cut down, but the path from my thoughts to my fingers remains intact. Even now two thumbs are a conduit from my brain to yours. I used to think this was odd, and certainly people have ac...
Source: The Splintered Mind by Douglas Cootey - November 27, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Tags: Coping Depression Journaling Therapizing Source Type: blogs

Adult ADHD: 7 Simple Tricks to Stay Focused in Class
From deep in the bottom of the mailbag comes this excellent question from Moosab. I'm sharing it here because the question is likely one most people with jobs have asked themselves at one point or another, especially adults with ADHD. ⁂ Hello, let me start off by saying that some of your advice has been very helpful and inspiring. That being said,i need your help, my classes are all 90 minutes, i always try to start out concentrating, and i do, for 45 minutes, then my brain goes into rest,i need to focus for more than half the class, but i don't know how, any ideas? ~ Moosab Thanks for writing in, Moosab. Fr...
Source: The Splintered Mind by Douglas Cootey - November 23, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Tags: Coping ADHD Source Type: blogs

Take a Cue
Tuesday - Entry 41:   I am sitting in the Sandy library and thinking about my options. Today I received the results of the MRI for my elbow. Unlike the prolapsed disks in my spine that have not healed, my elbow seems to have recovered from the car accident last Spring. Healthy joint. Untorn ligaments. Everything looks right as rain except for a large, lumpy thing on the tip of it. The bruising I had experienced seems to have subsided. I can carry groceries without pain now. I can do push-ups and ride exercise bikes. I imagine I can start taking my bike out for a ride again, something I have sorely missed doing all sum...
Source: The Splintered Mind by Douglas Cootey - November 20, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Tags: Journaling Writing Source Type: blogs

The Frantic Crashing of Cymbals
Monday – Entry 40: My freelance writing work is taking away from my writing time, and yet it pays so little compared to my expenses. I’m getting frustrated. If I wasn’t disabled, if I was perfect, if I was a massive writing machine these would not be obstacles for me, but they are. I appreciate the work, and the money, however. I’m not complaining. In fact, I wish there was more of it because one of my clients has run out of work for me, but I am concerned. I need to do better with my time if I want to get this first book of mine published. I’m very proud of it. I truly am. However, I don’t...
Source: The Splintered Mind by Douglas Cootey - November 18, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Tags: ADHD Depression Family Journaling Therapizing Writing Source Type: blogs

My ADHD-Born Intensity at Work
Friday - Entry 39: Tonight my plans were blown into atoms by a bomb. I managed to finish my daughter’s parent/teacher conference before the tics began. Even managed to drive home safely. However, by the time I made it up the stairs to my apartment, my body was no longer interested in following my lead and marched to a different beat altogether, often in different directions. My legs wanted to head south while my torso headed north while my arms held onto the wall for dear life. Safely inside, the Leprechaun—my 15 year old angel—cooked dinner, and I sat in front of the television watching shows on CrunchyRoll. I ha...
Source: The Splintered Mind by Douglas Cootey - November 8, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Tags: Journaling Writing Family Therapizing ADHD Source Type: blogs

I Don't Have Attention Deficit iBooks Disorder
Saturday – Entry 38:I became distracted by iBooks for the Mac this morning. I should have been working on other things (like writing my book), but iBooks took my attention much to my daughter’s annoyance. “Hey, Dad! What about breakfast?”* I pulled myself away, but every ingredient in the scrambled eggs was infused with my frustration and focus on iBooks. I soon discovered, however, that I don’t have Attention Deficit iBooks Disorder. The real problem wasn’t iBooks at all but my screwy attention deficit from Adult ADHD. I use my iPad to read a lot of books. If you follow me on GoodReads you already know thi...
Source: The Splintered Mind by Douglas Cootey - November 3, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Tags: Journaling Goals ADHD Source Type: blogs

ADHD & Careless Mistakes – Letterpress Style
Ever since it was first released, I have been a big fan of Letterpress for iOS. I have found it perfect for my ADHD. It’s mentally stimulating; the board can change drastically turn by turn; it’s a constructive pursuit to help me unwind; and it gives me an endorphin boost from the competition. Letterpress is like weaponized Words for Friends. Fans of Scrabble will feel at home since it uses the same dictionary, but points are allocated differently, and you can steal your opponents letter tiles. As in chess, strategy is important since to win the game you need to have the higher score when the last letter is played. I ...
Source: The Splintered Mind by Douglas Cootey - October 30, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Tags: Coping ADHD Source Type: blogs

Give Your Self-Esteem a Lift
In the last journal entry that I shared with you, I wrote about a recent epiphany where I discovered I had inextricably linked goal making with my self-esteem. It was an obvious problem once I drew attention to it, but I was surprised at how long I had been cluelessly operating under such a destructive thought process. How could I like myself if I only liked myself if I was working towards goals? There would always be more goals because if I finished a goal I would immediately be unhappy and restless. I needed a new goal for focus and purpose. I placed all my self worth on success and only success. I had become addicted in...
Source: The Splintered Mind by Douglas Cootey - October 21, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Tags: Coping Depression ADHD Source Type: blogs

Kobo Affiliate eReaders Aren't Affiliated (Or Look What My ADHD Helped Me Discover)
Most of the time, people talk about adult ADHD as if it is a curse. We all know the horror stories. If you’ve been following this blog for any length of time you’ve read more than a few horrifying tales of ADHD woe with me as the terrorizer and victim. Fortunately, ADHD has its upsides. Sometimes a distraction leads me to discover things I wouldn’t have otherwise known about. Case in point: my Kobo mini isn’t affiliate-linked with my local bookstore.This is a big deal. Kobo was supposed to rise from the ashes of the Google Books failure and be the ebook savior of independent brick & mortar book sellers nationwi...
Source: The Splintered Mind by Douglas Cootey - October 16, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Tags: ADHD Source Type: blogs

Fighting Depression When Your Meds Don't Work
As I was getting my Gmail inbox down to zero last month I discovered a nifty folder where I stored emails that I wanted to blog about. Of course, I completely forgot about them once I put them in there. A lot of my plans have been sidetracked because of my car accident last Spring. They were pretty good plans, too. I was thinking of writing a book, posting embarrassing videos of myself on YouTube for internet fame, finding Brigham's gold in the mountains, and tagging Sasquatch. I dream big and fall hard. So you shouldn't be surprised that I didn't publish an excellent correspondence I had with reader Sandra J from the UK. ...
Source: The Splintered Mind by Douglas Cootey - October 15, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Tags: Coping Depression ADHD Source Type: blogs

I Will Never Like Myself. Not Unless…
Saturday – Entry 37: I should be working on my second draft, but I am gripped by an epiphany I just had. One could say it is even an old epiphany rediscovered with new words. I will never like myself. This is the epiphany I had: I will never like myself. Not unless I change how I think. Somehow I have sewn my self-esteem into my goal making so that if I fail to meet my goals, I hate myself for the failure. If I meet the goals, then the momentary boost in self-esteem is erased the moment I select a new goal. And there is always a new goal. That is why I will never like myself. Now that I realize what I’ve been doing...
Source: The Splintered Mind by Douglas Cootey - October 13, 2013 Category: Mental Illness Tags: Coping Journaling Writing Therapizing ADHD Source Type: blogs