Dominic caalls hyem
Working undercover with a northern lass called Leanne, I’ve managed to acquire the wiretap tape of a conversation between a bloke called Dom and his Mam in the North East…
Ring, ring
Dom’s Mam: Hellooo…0191 24242424
Dom: Hello Mother it’s me Dom. How are you, I mean, Y’areet Mam, hope you’re not feverish or coughing or anything
Dom’s Mam: Eeh, hello our Dominic, pet, lovely to hear your voice, I know you’re busy with all that eugenies stuff, so I won’t keep you
Dom: Narrh, it’s alreet, I rang you, didn’t I? Anyway, you’re birthday’s coming up…shall we bring the bairn up to see you?
Dom’s Mam: Eeeh, that’d be lovely pet, but what aboot the lockdown rules and that covfefe virus, like though?
Dom: Aah, divvent worry about that, I’ve got it covered
Dom’s Mam: What do ye mean covered?
Dom: Well, we think Mary’s got Covid like already so she’ll have herd immunity by now, which is like what cows get when they meet a badger, like, so we’ll use that as an excuse to bring the bairn up so you can look after him while we isolate
Dom’s Mam: But, isn’t that breaking them rules, like, it says on the government’s webshite that you should stay hyem if somebody’s ill with it in yer hoos.
Dom: Aye, it’s nay worries though, I wrote the rules, I can break them
Dom’s Mam: Eeh, we never brought you up to be like that our Dominic
Dom...
Source: David Bradley Sciencebase - Songs, Snaps, Science - Category: Science Authors: David Bradley Tags: Sciencebase Source Type: blogs