Palliative care: My moral grounds were shaken and my beliefs challenged

A cup of black coffee — such an ordinary request. Behind this request is a mother of a dying son, who due to financial restraints, has slept on the same hospital recliner chair and eaten the same oatmeal and mashed potatoes made from a water kettle every day for months. What can we offer when there is no more chemotherapy, what can we do to alleviate this mother’s struggle? A cup of coffee. A plate of scrambled eggs. Sometimes, that may be all we can do. We are sitting in the family conference room with the mother listening to the journey that brought her here today, and I realize that she has been wearing the same clothes the past week, her hair matted with sweat and her face weathered by the sickness that surrounds her. People seem different while I am on palliative care: their motivations, their demeanors, the words they choose and the tones of their voice. Maybe it is because that I finally take off the guarded armor and finally allow emotions to take charge. Unlike the clamor and chaos during wards months, right now, time seems to slow down and is interjected by frequent silences. On palliative care, it is acceptable to allow pauses in conversations. But my mind begins to derail. On the other side of the conference room windows, I see consultants swing by with brisk steps, nursing staff answering patient’s calls and, occasionally, you hear a laughter or a surprised exclamation. All of this feels surreal. Continue reading ... Your patients are rating you on...
Source: Kevin, M.D. - Medical Weblog - Category: General Medicine Authors: Tags: Physician Hospital-Based Medicine Palliative Care Source Type: blogs