Dark Thoughts That Come With Metastatic Breast Cancer

There are a lot of dark, foreboding moments when you are living with metastatic breast cancer. There is no way to describe the feeling that comes over you when you are hit with the realization that you have this incurable disease, and death is stalking you. I am pretty good at overcoming the doom and gloom, but frankly, there are some deep, dark thoughts that occasionally invade my mind. I Think About Dying There are those moments when I really understand that death is imminent. There is no cure at this time; this cancer could kill me. I am constantly thinking about the fabulous women who have already died from breast cancer. My thoughts are only tempered by my faith in Jesus Christ. He truly gives me hope and restores my joy. I pray and meditate often to counter the depressing darkness that comes with these thoughts. It has kept the depression away. I also remind myself that dying would really be inconvenient right now. I am just not prepared — there is still a whole basement full of stuff I need to organize, and my family can’t seem to function well without me. I Wonder What Will Happen to My Stuff I used to love to collect certain things and enjoyed displaying them. When I was first diagnosed and had to spend almost a month in the hospital, one of my thoughts was about that whole basement full of stuff I had to deal with. It would be embarrassing to leave it for my family and friends to go through and see all the crap I kept. Slowly, I have been trying to organize my s...
Source: Life with Breast Cancer - Category: Cancer & Oncology Authors: Tags: Breast Cancer living with people Source Type: blogs