poem

 Phone Tree You have reached my voicemailIf this is an emergency please hang up and dial 911If this is not an emergency please consider hanging up and not dialing 911. If this is about that time I oughtto have done the thing we both know,in retrospect, I should have done please press “2”If this is simply a butt dial know that I don ’t believe in butt dialsand will go to my grave assuming you intentionally calledbut panicked last minute when it came time to say the thing you meant to say If this is a solicitor wanting me to sell my soul for the chanceof re-purchasing that very same soulsometime down the road at a huge discount please press “3”If you are an uncle or old coach or Dad or the guy in line ahead of me at the Walgreens or Corey from Wilkes Barre PA please press “4”If this is a person who is angry or distracted or murderousor understandably sad or grinding their teethwith a ravenous pescatarian hunger please press “5”If you think you know me please hold on the linewhile listening to a selection of noirish Japanese jazzthat has a strong likelihood of lasting all nightIf you wish to query about my lack of availabilityPlease press “6” and, once transferred to that place,when you are asked to press another button,Please press “7”. If you would like to just talkTo me you are allowed to ask 10 questionsIf you would like one word replies (yes/no, binary codes) please press “8”If you would like me to ramble on all nightso...
Source: Buckeye Surgeon - Category: Surgery Authors: Source Type: blogs