M, I See You
I have not been a very faithful poster on here. And I am sorry for that. It can be quite cathartic when I do post. Other times it is an amazing tool to vent or process the jumble of thoughts and emotions that plague me on almost a daily basis. Other days, I feel mindless and numb. To use the old cliche, it’s an emotional roller coaster. I’d like to begin this post by sharing a quote by Dr. Atul Gawande:
The simple view is that medicine exists to fight death and disease, and that is, of course, its most basic task. Death is the enemy. But the enemy has superior forces. Eventually, it wins. And, in a war that you...
Source: JeffreyMD.com - October 16, 2013 Category: Medical Students Authors: Dr. Jeff Tags: My Life Residency Atul Gawande medicine micu Source Type: blogs
Another Day, Another Loss
My patient died today.
It was my first death as the senior resident on the team.
Couldn’t help but think about what I could have done more.
After I was notified that my patient had passed, I went up to the unit.
The room was full of people. Slowly they trickled out. Two family members lingered, one was her brother who had been by her bedside for so many hours in the last few days.
I offered my condolences and offered my hand. He looked at me, his eyes red, and started shaking his head.
And then he hugged me. And thanked me. Thanked me for what I had done. Thanked me for my calmness through her dying...
Source: JeffreyMD.com - August 5, 2013 Category: Medical Students Authors: Dr. Jeff Tags: My Life Residency death dying medicine patients Source Type: blogs
The Cycle Continues
I’m finally coming up to the end of the 1st month of PGY-2. This month has been spent on the Endocrinology service, an Internal Medicine subspecialty. One of the fears I posted about last time was that there would be interns who now look to me to answer questions on management. This fear has not yet materialized. That experience has been deferred — at least for now. There are no interns on the endocrinology service this month.
During this fast-ending month, I have only met a few interns. My first month leading a team with interns begins in just a few days. It has been fun meeting the few that I have. It has al...
Source: JeffreyMD.com - July 28, 2013 Category: Medical Students Authors: Dr. Jeff Tags: My Life Residency residents Source Type: blogs
Two More Weeks
And I’m freaked out.
In about two weeks I transition into the role of a senior resident. I will be charged, on certain in-patient months, with leading a team with two interns. It’ll be my responsibility to teach, guide, and correct.
There are days when I feel like I am starting to come around — that I’m becoming the doctor I want to be. Then there are other days — days when my first and foremost goal is making a decision that will not negatively impact a patient.
I was recently charged with a patient who came in with a heart attack. He received multiple stents. I first saw him the day after the stents were pla...
Source: JeffreyMD.com - June 18, 2013 Category: Medical Students Authors: Dr. Jeff Tags: My Life Source Type: blogs
Too Late — Part 2
Part 1 can be found by clicking here.
*****
It was a few weeks after I had said goodbye to Helen. I remembered her. I can’t say I stayed up at night thinking about her or what became of her. No one does that — at least no one does that for long. It’s too difficult. It’s too much of an emotional toll. Besides, we see too many patients.
I remember coming back from a day off. When I returned and logged onto the computer in the morning I was surprised to see Helen’s name on my list of patients to see. I looked around the resident workroom, found the senior resident on my team, and asked, “W...
Source: JeffreyMD.com - April 21, 2013 Category: Medical Students Authors: Dr. Jeff Tags: My Life Residency cancer death doctor dying patients Source Type: blogs
Too Late — Part 1
She was an elderly woman; I’ll call her Helen1. Her hair was silver. She smiled pleasantly as I walked up to her bed in the emergency department. But her eyes betrayed her. Her eyes were dark and solemn. When I asked Helen how she was doing, she told me she was “alright.”
I picked up her chart and noted that it was her first time here. Fortunately, though, she had brought her records from her previous hospitalizations. We discussed why she had come, what had previously been done for her at the other hospital, and what her goals were now.
She had been recently diagnosed with advanced, metastatic cancer. ...
Source: JeffreyMD.com - April 18, 2013 Category: Medical Students Authors: Dr. Jeff Tags: My Life Residency cancer death doctor dying patients Source Type: blogs
Night Float
I’m on my Night Float rotation this month. Needless to say, I’m not a big fan of the rotation. There are four interns assigned to Night Float this month. Two interns are on each night. So we each have about 14 or 15 nights during the month. Which is still better than months when there are only 3 interns — they have to do about 21 nights each. On days that I am not scheduled to come in at 7 PM, I am supposed to go into the Ambulatory clinic and see patients there.
I was one of the two lucky interns to start the month on Nights. Just finished Day 2. Or, I should say, night 2. My first stretch is a 4 nigh s...
Source: JeffreyMD.com - April 3, 2013 Category: Medical Students Authors: Jeff W Tags: My Life Residency Source Type: blogs
I’m Still Here
It’s been so long since I have posted. According to the site, the last post was back in November. I’m still here. And I’m still alive and surviving internship.
I plan to continue blogging. I will just need time to sit down and write. Often, I get home and just want to eat and sleep. But I will need to begin writing again.
There are so many stories and experiences to share.
I will also have to update the header image of this blog. I’m not quite in medical school anymore.
This week I have off. It is my 2nd (of 3) week of vacation. Unfortunately it cannot be a true vacation — I’m tryin...
Source: JeffreyMD.com - February 7, 2013 Category: Medical Students Authors: Jeff W Tags: My Life Residency Step 3 Source Type: blogs
Geriatrics and Palliative Care Medicine
That’s what this month has been all about.
Ok, so I did get a week of vacation at the beginning of the month, but after that I have been dealing with senior citizen patients, quite a few of whom are hospice care patients.
It has been strange — the palliative care side of things, that is. I feel like I have spent the last few years preparing for a career in which I do everything I can in order to help someone get better. And on occasion, we must get out of nature’s way and allow death to happen. However, this month I feel like that model of medicine has been flipped upside down — that my role has now...
Source: JeffreyMD.com - November 19, 2012 Category: Medical Students Authors: Jeff W Tags: My Life Residency death dying geriatrics hospice medicine palliative care patients Source Type: blogs
Month One
The first month of intern year is over. It was definitely a ride. For my first rotation I was assigned to the local county hosptial for a month of in-patient medicine. I have been told that the two hardest rotations of the intern year here are the months at county and the MICU month at the Universtiy Medical Center. Seeing as I’m still alive and breathing, and that I still have a job, I’d say that I survived my month.
The first challenge I encountered was just transitioning from a medical student to intern. I remember being asked things by nurses as a Sub-I (during my 4th year), or any other rotation. I could a...
Source: JeffreyMD.com - August 8, 2012 Category: Medical Students Authors: Jeff W Tags: My Life Residency hospital inpatient patients Source Type: blogs
Dr. W?
I was waiting in the lobby of the building. I had a 9:30 appointment with human resources. I knew they wanted to take a picture for my ID badge. I assumed I would be given some other info as well. I had already previously completed a bunch of new hire “paperwork” online.
As I sat and waited (im)patiently in the lobby I started playing with my phone. Then I heard a male voice call out, “Dr. W?” (And he did a decent job of pronouncing my last name, too!)
I almost laughed out loud. But I stood up and went to meet him, all the while trying so hard not to have a weird grin.
It’s still weird to hear someone seriously c...
Source: JeffreyMD.com - June 18, 2012 Category: Medical Students Authors: Jeff W Tags: My Life Residency doctor work Source Type: blogs
It’s Over, But Not Really
It is now just over a week since I marched at my Commencement ceremony and received my diploma. Yes, the actual diploma was inside the folder — which is very exciting since all my previous diplomas (college and high school) had to be mailed to me once the financial office had decided that I no longer owed the school any money.
I suppose that this is officially my first post as an MD. I am now a graduate. I now can tack on the suffix M.D. to my name. I remember just one day after graduation I sat staring at my diploma. As I stared at it, I almost could not believe it was in front of me. I looked at the piece of paper ...
Source: JeffreyMD.com - June 4, 2012 Category: Medical Students Authors: Jeff W Tags: Medical School My Life Residency graduation Loma Linda University Source Type: blogs
Almost There
I am currently on the last rotation of my medical school career. It’s a 4-week elective called Whole Person Care. One week down. Three weeks to go.
A few weeks ago they began erecting the canopies for the graduation ceremonies. Throughout the month of May, the various schools on campus will be holding their own graduation celebrations. The School of Medicine will be having their commencement on the 27th of May.
It’s pretty surreal to think the journey is coming to another milestone. I cannot say that the journey is coming to an end because I know I am nowhere near the end of it. Medicine is not a short journey that ...
Source: JeffreyMD.com - April 30, 2012 Category: Medical Students Authors: Jeff W Tags: Medical School My Life Source Type: blogs
Film & Medicine
Aside from my pathophysiology paper that was due last Friday (which I need to start finish sometime today), I am done with that two week elective.
Tomorrow I start another two week elective. It’s called “Film & Medicine.”
I’ve gotten some wide eyes when I tell people that I’m going to be spending the next two weeks doing an elective called “Film & Medicine.”
From the course syllabus:
Because film encapsulates narrative efficiently, this seminar screens and discusses feature films which focus on stories about medical care. Films are chosen that explore the humanity of both...
Source: JeffreyMD.com - March 11, 2012 Category: Medical Students Authors: Jeff W Tags: My Life electives film & medicine fourth year Medical School Source Type: blogs
