How to be Assertive When You ’re Worried About Being Criticized or Rejected

It’s hard to be assertive when you’re really worried about the other person’s response. Maybe you’re worried they’ll think you’re being ridiculous and reject you. Maybe you’re worried they’ll be critical, and you’ll feel even more uncomfortable. These are legitimate concerns. Maybe they’ve even been substantiated by past experiences. For instance, after trying to be assertive, you’ve left an interaction feeling “misunderstood, shunned or ignored,” and the issue went unresolved, said Leslie Garcia, LCSW, a psychotherapist and founder of Counseling Space in New York City, which focuses on the mental and emotional wellness of women business leaders and CEOs. So, the next time a similar situation arises, you inevitably recall the negative experience and do everything you can to avoid it, she said. After all, Garcia noted, humans are “social beings; maintaining social connections is necessary for our survival and health.” Maybe you’re worried because you have a history of people-pleasing and hate to take an opposing view, said Kirsten Brunner, LPC, a therapist who specializes in perinatal mental health and relationship counseling at her private practice in Austin, Texas. Or maybe you “struggle with a pervasive fear of conflict, abandonment, or rejection.” Either way, whatever the specific reasons, the good news is that you can stand up for yourself and voice your needs, values, thoughts, and feelings. Remember you can do scary things. Of co...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Family Friends General Industrial and Workplace Marriage and Divorce Mental Health and Wellness Relationships Self-Help Stress Source Type: blogs