Review my Personal Statement?

I will be applying to Medical School this Spring, but I prepared this one for the application of my University's Pre-Health Advisory Committee. I am applying to it as a alumnus. This is my first go at one, and will certainly revise it to nauseam/ write new ones for the real Medical School applications. I just want to see what people think of my first try. I had my brother and Dad edit each edit it, but they don't really know what a personal statement for medical school really should be. So... Review my Personal Statement?
Source: Student Doctor Network - Category: Universities & Medical Training Authors: Source Type: forums