Marriage: Ball and Chain or Free to Be You?

If you’ve been doing fine on your own for some time, you may fear that marriage will cost you your freedom. Actually, a good marriage supports you to be free to be who you are, because partners consider each other’s needs, as well as their own. It takes some maturity to do this. Happy couples balance spending time together and apart in ways that suit both partners. They collaborate to make big decisions, like about very large expenses, parenting, leisure time activities, and so on. Through showing concern for each other’s viewpoint, they bond over time and foster a lasting, fulfilling marriage. A Good Marriage Enhances Freedom Not everyone recognizes marriage as freedom enhancing. Randall, single and in his late forties, views marriage as “the old ball and chain.” He feels sorry for his well-paid coworker “whose wife wouldn’t let him buy a bowling ball.” Randall thought he’d dodged a bullet by staying single. Dini, also in her forties, also thinks marriage would cramp her style. “I don’t want to have to eat every single meal with the same person,” she declares. I wondered why she thought she’d need to. My husband and I usually eat dinner together because we want to, and sometimes Sunday brunch. I don’t know any couples who feel forced to eat three meals a day together. A “ball and chain” union forces one spouse to squeeze into a mold formed by the other. A good marriage encourages spouses to be their true selves. It fosters self-expressio...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Marriage and Divorce Men's Issues Personal Relationships Self-Help Stress Women's Issues ball and chain Freedom Independence Personal Growth Self Care Self-Esteem Source Type: blogs