Idea for Personal Statement a turn-off for adcomms?

Background: I did a crowdfunding campaign to raise money to purchase an ultrasound machine for a hospital I volunteered at in Tanzania. It took eighteen months, but it worked: $8K and a new ultrasound. I'm thinking of introducing this as the first part of my PS in a "walk-you-through-my-thinking" (first person) style to demonstrate an ability to use problem-solving skills to help others. Again, this was for a regional hospital in Tanzania, and the majority of the donors were in the US, UK... Idea for Personal Statement a turn-off for adcomms?
Source: Student Doctor Network - Category: Universities & Medical Training Authors: Source Type: forums