Fear of Bigness

This one is an emotional one. I was trying to think back the other day on where my fear of success might come from. I hit some pretty scary skeletons, and since we all have a similar story, I’ll share mine with you. When I was little, I remembered three distinct times where I was silenced or ridiculed for being genuinely excited about something. 1) At a family wedding. I am 8 ish and though we did not have much growing up, I somehow have this beautiful crushed red velvet dress that I’m so excited to wear. I don’t think of shoes until the morning of the wedding. The only shoes that are in the house that fit me are a pair from my mom—black witch shoes. I cry, I protest, she gets mad and forces me to wear them. I am humiliated. I am thankful for the dark reception hall and feel I can relax a bit. When it comes time for the bride to throw the bouquet, I get so excited, that I jump up and catch it and the whole wedding starts to laugh. I’m convinced they are laughing at my shoes, so I go and hide in a bathroom stall for a very long time. 2) After a camping trip with a group of family and friends. I am 9ish? I have the time of my life. At the dinner party after, at the adult table of laughter and drinking, I hear one of the mom’s on the trip say “SHUTUP, CELIA!” and they all start laughing. I don’t understand, but I know they are all making fun of me, so I slip off into the restroom into a bathroom stall and I hide for a very long time. 3) A family member embar...
Source: Conversations with Dr Greene - Category: Pediatricians Authors: Tags: Perspectives Mental Health Source Type: blogs