Legislated Out

I have a breathtakingly difficult confession to make. A confession, that on its face, seems rather innocuous, but in many ways shakes the foundations of who I always thought I was. How I identify myself.I no longer love being a physician.There, I said it. I winced even as I strung the words together to write the sentence. You see, to admit this is almost inconceivable. So much of who I was and who I have become is enmeshed in this intricate quilt of a profession. I view most every aspect of my life through this lens.How could I not? Wanting to be a doctor is the first cognition I can recall from childhood. A childhood marked by a learning disability which brought into contention the idea of being a professional at all. A childhood in which a father's death became a precursor. A foreshadowing of who I was fated to become. I would follow in my father's footsteps. I would finish the work that was prematurely wrenched from his clutches. There was never a question whether I would succeed. The calling was too great. The pull too strong.To deny my profession is to deny my father's legacy. To deny my own reflection.Yet here I stand. It didn't happen all at once. Medical school was difficult and time consuming, but it didn't happen there. Residency was strenuous and terrifying, but it didn't happen there. My first days as an attending were grueling, and sometimes awful, but also energizing.I...
Source: In My Humble Opinion - Category: Primary Care Authors: Source Type: blogs