Xarelto On Discharge for Pulmonary Embolism Decision Tree
Is Xarelto the right medication for you after a life threatening pulmonary embolism?  This medicine is a great option, but how do you know if it is the right medicine for you?  The Happy Hospitalist has provided a detailed flow chart decision tree for you to decide if Xarelto will work for your clotting disorder.  Years of dedicated clinical experience can be summed up in this one simple graph.  So, if you've got a big clot in your lungs and you want to know if you should take Xarelto, look no further.  You have found the answer you've been searching for.Tweet!function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getEleme...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - August 2, 2018 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

LASIK vs Lasix. What's the Difference? Ophthalmologists Know and They are Cashing In On the Difference.
Bel-Aire, CA. Every year, hundreds of thousands of patients study the pros and cons of getting eye surgery to finally get rid of their glasses or contacts forever. They consider the costs and benefits before paying thousands of dollars to experience the freedom of Lasix. And that is exactly what some ophthalmologists are giving them. Lasix.Lasix is a diuretic used to make you pee. LASIK--Laser-Assisted In Situ Keratomileusis-- is an FDA approved eye surgery that permanently changes the shape of your cornea to try and say goodbye to contacts and glasses forever.Lasix costs several pennies per treatm...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - October 15, 2016 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Nurse Creates The Mother Lode of All Advance Directives.
Albany, NY -- Adrian Fleming knew all about the horrors that went on at her hospital everyday.  As a seasoned floor nurse at SunnyView Hospital for over 20 years, she had a front seat view of the face palms that threatened patient safety everyday. She also knew someday she would be a patient in her own hospital and with that fear in mind, set out to create the mother lode of all advance directives.An advance directive is a written statement of a person's wishes regarding medical treatment created to ensure those wishes are carried out should the person be unable to communicate them to a doctor.Her advance directi...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - July 20, 2016 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Top 10 Causes of DKA Hospitalization (ICD-10 Codes)
Most internists are taught the three most common causes of hospitalization for diabetic ketoacidosis (DKA) are infection, infection, infection.  In clinical reality, the three most likely causes of hospitalization for DKA are didn't take insulin, didn't take insulin and didn't take insulin.  With ICD-9, E15.1 could be used to code DKA Hospitalization Due to Noncompliance.  With ICD-10 coding rules, didn't take insulin is not specific enough to code the cause of DKA hospitalization.  The new ICD-10 codes provide a much more detailed look at the causes of DKA leading to hospitalization and will hopef...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - July 19, 2016 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Top 10 Reasons Patients Skip Dialysis
The National Association of Noncompliant Dialysis Patients (NANDP), the largest noncompliant patient association in America, has released their 2016 Top 10 Reasons For Skipping Dialysis survey. Debuting in the top ten for the first time  in this annual survey  were Shopping on Amazon Prime Day and Playing Pokemon GO. "Amazon, Pokemon and Netflix are driving our chronic dialysis patients to an early grave,"  said Dr Stanley Cornsmith, M.D., Director of AMA Patient Satisfaction.  "I don't even want to think of what will happen once virtual reality goes mainstream.  We'll have...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - July 15, 2016 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

18 Awesome Pokemon GO Medical Memes for Doctors and Nurses and Patients!
Pokemon GO, the augmented reality smart phone game, has taken the world by storm.  Millions of addicted players are roaming the streets, day and night, hunting pikachus with gross disregard for everyone around them.  And what better way to discuss how Pokemon GO has affected doctors, nurses and patients alike than 18 perfectly described medical memes explaining the many ways life is now different in a post Pokemon world.  Please enjoy these 18 original Happy Hospitalist Pokemon medical memes and feel free to add your own in the comments below.  Now stop reading and GO Pokemoning!"Waiting for call l...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - July 13, 2016 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

99306 CPT ® Code Description, Progress Notes, RVU, Distribution (Level 3 Initial Nursing Facility Care)
This 99306 CPT ® lecture reviews the procedure code definition, progress note examples, RVU values, national distribution data and explains when this code should be used in the nursing facility setting (nursing home).  CPT stands for Current Procedural Terminology. This code is part of a family of medical billing codes described by the numbers 99304-99306.  CPT ® 99306 represents the high (level 3) initial nursing facility care visit (whether you are the attending or a consultant) and is part of the Healthcare Common Procedure Coding System (HCPCS).  This procedure code lecture for initia...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - May 6, 2016 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

99306 CPT® Code Description, Progress Notes, RVU, Distribution (Level 3 Initial Nursing Facility Care)
This 99306 CPT® lecture reviews the procedure code definition, progress note examples, RVU values, national distribution data and explains when this code should be used in the nursing facility setting (nursing home).  CPT stands for Current Procedural Terminology. This code is part of a family of medical billing codes described by the numbers 99304-99306.  CPT® 99306 represents the high (level 3) initial nursing facility care visit (whether you are the attending or a consultant) and is part of the Healthcare Common Procedure Coding System (HCPCS).  This procedure code lecture for initial nursing faci...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - May 6, 2016 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Whose Stethoscope is it? The View's Joy Behar Algorithm
Whose stethoscope is it?  The View's Joy Behar insulted 3 million nurses this week and the internet won. Meme's, meme's everywhere! But, we are a forgiving people here in America and we must believe she simply didn't have the education to understand what a stethoscope is and who uses it.  After hours of intense medical research, the Happy Hospitalist was able to create  a fail safe algorithm to help the world understand whose stethoscope your healthcare provider is wearing.  Had the world known about this algorithm before Joy spoke, we could have avoided all the hard feelings and just chalked up her ign...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - September 17, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Memes Responding to The View's Joy Behar Nurse-Doctor Stethoscope Comment.
By now you've probably seen evidence of all three million American nurses expressing their outrage at The View on social media in defense of Miss Colorado contestant Kelley Johnson after co-host Joy Behar mocked her for delivering a monologue wearing a "doctor's stethoscope." Nurses swarmed Facebook and Twitter during their rare combined bathroom/lunch break to support the Miss America contestant and to defend their profession against the incredible remarks. What better way to support nurses in their rage than to honor their duty to service with a handful of memes.  Please enjoy this original collection of T...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - September 14, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Cardiologist Arrested For Murder After Cathing Patient to Death.
Tallahassee, FL -- The Tallahassee medical community was stunned Friday after state prosecutors charged local Cardiologist Stan Wellington with first degree murder for the cathing death of James Binkmann.   Prosecutors claim the 79 year-old patient was killed by a four hour cathing rampage that ended with cardiac arrest just as a left pinky artery stent was being deployed.Prosecutors released a transcript of the frantic 911 call they received from a float nurse in the cath lab the morning of the patient's death.  "This is damning evidence," said State Prosecutor Denny Fleming.911:  911.  What ...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - July 20, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Joint Commission Mandates Armband to Identify Patients With Too Many Armbands.
Oakbrook Terrace, IL --  Hospitals are up in arms again after The Joint Commission (TJC) on Monday started requiring all patients with too many armbands  to be flagged with an armband for having too many armbands. Mark Chassin, President and Chief Executive Officer of TJC, applauded his organization for taking  action against his organization's failed policies."I'm proud The Joint Commission is finally  taking a stand against The Joint Commission for continuing to ignore all the unintended consequences of their regulations," said Dr. Chassin.Doctors and nurses have been telling authorities for...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - May 25, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Memorial Day Also Remembers Veterans Who Lost Their Life In a VA Hospital.
VA Hospitals -  Memorial Day is a time to remember our service men and women who died while serving in the armed forces, but it's also a time to pay respect to the thousands of veterans who die every day in our VA hospitals all across the country.Billy Smith and his family are using today to remember World War II Veteran Granpa Jim, shot 17 times in war, who passed away three years ago at their local VA hospital after undergoing routine bunyan surgery and never making it out alive.  "We dropped him off for a routine surgery and we never heard from him again," said Billy, who says the VA still has no rec...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - May 24, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Staying Against Medical Advice: Top 15 Reasons!
Much has been said about patients who leave against medical advice, but little has been described  about patients who stay against medical advice.  When a hospital setting is no longer appropriate for a patient, a physician will recommend discharge to the next appropriate level of care.  For most well adjusted patients, the hospital is the last place in the world they want to be, but for a select subset of customers,  the hospital is the only place they would like to be.The average adult probably finds it hard to believe some patients actually want to stay in the hospital longer than necessary, but it's...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - May 15, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Universal Ortho H & P Rescues Surgeons From Pain and Suffering.
Rosemont, IL -  David Teuscher, President of the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons (AAOS), confirmed yesterday a universal H & amp;P that just needs to be signed by the surgeon is the best selling product offered by the society. "The H & amp;P is by far the best selling product our society has ever had!" said Dr. Teuscher.  "As an ortho doc myself, I have personally struggled through H & amp;Ps my entire professional life.  I wish I had these twenty years ago." With Hospitalists increasingly refusing to do' Need pre-op H & amp;P 'consults, ortho doctor...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - May 13, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Universal Ortho H&P Rescues Surgeons From Pain and Suffering.
Rosemont, IL -  David Teuscher, President of the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons (AAOS), confirmed yesterday a universal H&P that just needs to be signed by the surgeon is the best selling product offered by the society."The H&P is by far the best selling product our society has ever had!" said Dr. Teuscher.  "As an ortho doc myself, I have personally struggled through H&Ps my entire professional life.  I wish I had these twenty years ago."With Hospitalists increasingly refusing to do 'Need pre-op H&P' consults, ortho doctors have increasingly found themselves in ...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - May 13, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

First Time Mother Shows Up In ER With Complaints of Bilateral Symmetrical Breast Swelling.
Jackson, MS  - In what ER doctors are calling one of the strangest cases of Failure To Parent ever, 20 year-old first time mother Tanya Jameson called 911 demanding to be transported  back to Jackson Memorial Hospital by ambulance with complaints of severe, progressive, bilateral breast swelling three days after delivering a bouncy 10 pound 2 ounce baby boy.Paramedics arrived at the scene to find Tanya's mother in a panic consoling her daughter writhing in pain.  "You've got to take my daughter to the ER.  Those damn doctors let her out too soon. Something is terribly wrong!" said her anxiety ...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - May 10, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Hospital Eliminates Paid Bathroom Breaks; Installs Computers In Restrooms For Mandatory Nurse Charting.
Gainesville, FL --  Barner Hospital officials have confirmed all staff restrooms were outfitted with  computers last week to help improve nurse charting efficiency and cut down on unproductive work hours that threaten the bonus structure of top administrative officials."After great thought and input from ourselves,  we concluded the ten year plan just didn't have wiggle room in the budget for paid restroom breaks," said Dan Stenwick, Chief Financial Officer at Barner."Over the last few years, we've had to make some difficult sacrifices on behalf of our team members to maintain our rapidly risi...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - May 3, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

UpToDate ® Forced To Admit Google Used as Their Main Source of Information.
Waltham, MA -   On the heals of an imminent 60 Minutes documentary exposing the inner workings of UpToDate ®, the popular subscription-only, physician-authored clinical decision support resource,  officials were forced to admit  most of their authors use Google as their goto resource. In a prepared statement to reporters, Wolters Kluwer Health, which owns UpToDate, confirmed  that Google is hands down the most popular resource used by their 6,000 physician authors to regurgitate medical information into neatly repackaged articles for the $500 per year professional service. "I ...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - May 2, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

UpToDate® Forced To Admit Google Used as Their Main Source of Information.
Waltham, MA -  On the heals of an imminent 60 Minutes documentary exposing the inner workings of UpToDate®, the popular subscription-only, physician-authored clinical decision support resource,  officials were forced to admit  most of their authors use Google as their goto resource. In a prepared statement to reporters, Wolters Kluwer Health, which owns UpToDate, confirmed  that Google is hands down the most popular resource used by their 6,000 physician authors to regurgitate medical information into neatly repackaged articles for the $500 per year professional service."I don't even know why t...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - May 2, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Nurse Admitted to Hospital After Literally Working Her Ass Off.
Houston, TX -  After years of mandatory overtime, 16-hour days without a restroom break and a revolving door of understaffed and overworked conditions as a hospital nurse, it finally happened.  Jan Stevens, R.N. was admitted to the hospital last week shortly after her ass literally fell off during a busy day in which two nurses called in sick at the last minute, without explanation, on a sunny Friday afternoon."I tell my husband and kids all the time that I'm exhausted after working my ass off at work , but I never thought it would actually happen," said Jan.The strange event occurred while Jan was givi...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - April 28, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Joint Commission Implements Mandatory Universal Patient Helmet Regulations.
Baltimore, MD - In an effort to reduce injuries and deaths related to in-hospital falls,  the Joint Commission notified hospitals last week of strict new universal  helmet regulations for all hospitalized patients, without exception.Patient death or serious injury associated with a fall while being cared for in a health care setting has been a recognized since 2002 as one of 27 original never events as defined by the National Quality Forum (NQF).  The complete list was revised in 2011 to include 29 never events, but falls by confused old naked men have continued to result in serious injuries despite end...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - April 12, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Walmart Rounds Helping Train Nation's Young Doctors.
Little Rock, AK - Doctors at the University of Arkansas Medical Center celebrated the three year anniversary of Walmart Rounds on Friday, a one-of-a-kind initiative exposing student doctors to a wide variety of conditions rarely seen anywhere else in the world.Attending physicians, residents, interns and medical students  from most specialities have donned their white coats and headed to their favorite local Walmart isle for the last three years to observe the stunning pathology of Walmartians in their natural environment."During Walmart rounds, we try and tell our students to be as discrete as possible...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - March 13, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

New Granny Dumping Law Excites Doctors and Nurses.
Minneapolis, MN - Hospitalists and ER doctors clapped loudly Monday after Minnesota Governor Mark Dayton signed legislation SF 18342, making it illegal for families to drop elderly relatives off in the ER and then leave.  The offense is a misdemeanor with a fine of up to $2,500.Dubbed the Granny Dumping Law, officials hope this puts an end to the practice of using expensive emergency rooms and hospitals as a holding tank for the state's at-risk elderly community while their children take family vacations to warmer climates or simply want a weekend alone without their parents or in-laws.Doctors and nurses say they...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - March 4, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Troopers Nab Drug-Seeker Trying to Fill Script for '1 Pound of Mofine'.
Dallas, TX -  Texas State Troopers arrested 47-year-old Harold Stanker on Tuesday after Walmart pharmacists reported a man trying to fill a prescription for 1 pound of mofine written by an ER physician named The Doctor.The suspect told officers he got the prescription during a recent visit to the hospital. "The doctor gave it to me after sum dude knocked me out while I was mindin' my own business," said Harold, an ER frequent-flier known for his almost daily pain complaints after altercations with sum dude.Walmart pharmacists say they have received extensive training in prescription fraud, but admit it'...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - February 26, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Pharmacist Pill Color Debate Goes Viral.
The color of the dress, that is clearly black and blue, take a strange and unusual turn Friday after a Walgreens pharmacist posted a picture of some Advil gel cap pills on his Facebook account asking, "Are these pills green or black?"  Thousands of pharmacists painfully debated the color for hours with both camps escalating the discussion to profound levels with ever more creative variations of cat pictures and  Michael Jackson eating his popcorn, resulting in a nationwide pharmacist shortage for hours.At the height of the viral argument, thousands of pro-spanking, vaccine denying, and end-stage fibromy...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - February 26, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Medicare Agrees to Pay For Reverse and Reverse-Reverse Transgender Surgery.
Medicare -  In 2014, The Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) lifted a three decade old law banning Medicare transgender reassignment surgery coverage for patients experiencing gender dysphoria, an intense discomfort or mismatch with biological sex and gender identity.However, a lawsuit by the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) claimed the policy discriminated against gender reassignment surgery patients experiencing transgender dysphoria, an intense discomfort or mismatch with their reassignment sex and transgender identity described in in the most recent DSM-5 2.0 update.  Medicare officials agreed ...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - February 22, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

The Joint Commission Cracking Down on Wrong Twin Surgery.
Oakbrook Terrace, IL -  The Joint Commission (TJC) announced new hospital safety mandates yesterday after 27 more cases of wrong twin surgery were reported this week alone.  American hospitals documented 1,492 cases of wrong twin surgeries last year, a 114% increase from just two years prior."After years of nitpicking, we almost ran out of stuff to investigate.  This twin thing is going to keep us busy for years," said Dr. Alan Fleming, President of TJC.In one wrong twin surgery incident last week,  42-year-old Stan Wilson accidentally had his tonsils removed after the registrar failed to corr...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - February 19, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

24-Hour tPA Stroke Window Making Physician Lives So Much Better Now.
Dallas, TX - Twenty years of  physician suffering ended abruptly Monday after the American Stroke Association (ASA) announced a dramatically expanded 24-hour tPA stroke window protocol to better accommodate doctors' increasingly hectic schedules. "Recent apologies by the American Board of Internal Medicine forced us to reevaluate our priorities as an organization.  We now understand just how disruptive our three hour tPA window has been on doctors' lives and for that we are deeply sorry,"  said ASA President Dr. Jan Fleming. With the new 24-hour window, ASA officials are hoping to give doctors...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - February 12, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Vaccination Outbreak Forces Orange County To Declare State of Emergency.
Orange County - Shortly after Disneyland became ground zero for the largest vaccine preventable disease outbreak the United States has seen in decades, unvaccinated children of Orange County families overwhelmed doctors' offices and local healthcare clinics fearfully seeking immunizations against measles, mumps, rubella, whooping cough and other childhood illnesses.  This surge in vaccination cases left government officials no choice but to declare a vaccination state of emergency."Due to the actions of a few thousand heartless pseudo-anti-vaxx parents who abandoned their principles at the first sign of a li...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - February 10, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Tesla Motors Receives 5-Star Suicide Safety Rating From American Psychiatric Association.
Arlington, VA -  Premium car company Tesla Motors, maker of the all electric and emission free Model S luxury vehicle, proudly accepted the coveted 5-Star Suicide Safety rating on Friday from the American Psychiatric Association's Suicide Prevention Board (APASPB). During over 40 years of independent suicide testing, the APASPB has never given out a 5-Star rating to a car company because of the exceptionally high risk of carbon monoxide poisoning and general risk of death experienced during closed garage suicide field testing."We are thrilled to be recognized by the APA as a leading manufacturer of safe suicide t...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - February 8, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Heart Hospital Scrambles After All Cardiologists Call In Stuck After Snowstorm.
Boston, MA -  Massachusetts Heart Hospital was forced to scramble over the weekend after every single cardiologist called in stuck after a snowstorm dropped over two feet of snow on the city.  House Supervisor Jan Stevenson was notified of the hospital wide physician shortage after nurses started complaining nobody had rounded on any patients for nearly 48 hours, which isn't always unusual."Some nurses became concerned after the first  24 hours, but we decided to hold tight because it was actually nice having none of the doctors around.  After 48 hours, out of physician courtesy, we called every si...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - February 6, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Measles Virus Made Large Contribution To Rand Paul Just Days Before Autism Vaccine Comments.
Newport, KY -  Rand Paul staffers were forced to admit Tuesday that Measles Virus made a large possible-presidential-campaign contribution just days before the Kentucky Senator's autism vaccination comments took the medical community and reasonable people in general by storm.  During a CNBC interview with Kelly Evan's on February, 2nd 2015, Senator Paul said this:"I have heard of many tragic cases of walking, talking normal children who wound up with profound mental disorders after vaccines.  I'm not arguing vaccines are a bad idea."Measles Virus, a fevered supporter of personal freedom, denie...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - February 5, 2015 Category: Internal Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Physician Assistant Hires Physician Assistant Assistant to Help Manage Hospital Rounds.
Gainesville, FL -  Two years ago, Physician Assistant Stan Hanover P.A. was so overwhelmed with patients that he hired his own Physician Assistant Assistant (P.A.A.) team to better manage his rising patient load.  Rounding on 30 patients a day and admitting another dozen had become just too much for Stan to handle."I went to my Hospitalist group and said I need more money to hire my own team of Physician Assistant Assistants,"  said Stan.  "At first, they questioned the need for more help, until I told them the Dermatology clinic was hiring for days only, no holidays and no weekends  ...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - January 31, 2015 Category: Internists and Doctors of Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Frozen 2 Soon: The Anti-Vaxx Years Coming Soon!
Lake Buena Vista -- After the wildly successful Frozen franchise and ground zero to the largest U.S. measles outbreak since elimination was documented in 2000, the Walt Disney Corporation (WDC) announced the release of Frozen 2 Soon:  The Anti-Vaxx Years to capture the hearts, imaginations and wallets of an ever growing population of anti-vaccination families.Frozen 2 Soon:  The Anti-Vaxx Years Coming Soon!To compliment the movie, crews at Florida's Walt Disney World Theme Park have been feverishly working around-the-clock constructing the Frozen 2 Soon display at Magic Kingdom, where unvaccinated children and th...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - January 30, 2015 Category: Internists and Doctors of Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Families Thrilled to Know Comfort Care Chemotherapy is an Option.
Boston, MA -  After years of poor patient satisfaction scores threatened to get Dr. Betty Jensen kicked off the medical staff at Monroe Hospital, she became the first Palliative Care physician in the country to start offering end-of-life comfort care chemotherapy last year and the results have been nothing short of remarkable. Comfort Care Chemotherapy provides peace of mind."I could actually feel the tingling deep inside of my patient satisfaction scores rising in real time as patients called out for one last dose of deathbed comfort care chemo before passing peacefully on the vent surrounded by friends and fami...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - January 28, 2015 Category: Internists and Doctors of Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Weather Forecasting Accuracy Joins Medicare Value Based Purchasing Program.
Baltimore, MD  -  Just days after Medicare announced their historic timeline for shifting fee-for-service  to alternative payment models that focus on quality and value and just hours after New York meteorologists inadvertently shut down New York City with their failed Blizzard of the Century forecast,  the Obama administration announced the addition of weather forecasting accuracy to a value added payment mix used to determine how much doctors and hospitals are paid.Bad weather forecasting now linked to Medicare penalties."After careful consideration, we have determined that doctors and hospitals ...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - January 27, 2015 Category: Internists and Doctors of Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Elderly Woman Admits to Family She's Not Really a Fighter.
Tuscaloosa, AL -  Ethel Burman shocked her family this week after admitting to them she wasn't really a fighter after all. Despite their insistence over the years, the elderly nursing home patient told her family she's never been a fighter and all their talk about her being a fighter is just made up gibberish in their own minds.Son always requests WTF order:  Wants To Fight"I just got tired of hearing my kids tell the doctors to do everything because I am a fighter and I snapped.  I'm not a fighter.  I'm 98 years old.  Last week I wrote a thank you card to my poop for being the only thing to s...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - January 23, 2015 Category: Internists and Doctors of Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Hospitalized Woman with New Complaint Everyday Diagnosed with Broken Furnace Syndrome.
Fargo, ND - Bertha Jensen was hospitalized two weeks ago for chest pain rule out, but a new complaint every day has prevented doctors from sending her home during the cold winter months.  That is, until a breakthrough in discharge planning was discovered by her current Hospitalist. Consider Broken Furnace Syndrome for difficult winter discharges."When I was a resident in Minneapolis, I took care of at least a dozen cases of Broken Furnace Syndrome every winter," said Hospitalist Dr. David Penter, who is known for his uncanny ability to spot patients with ulterior motives from a mile away.Broken Furnace Syndr...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - January 7, 2015 Category: Internists and Doctors of Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Am I a Good Parent? Two Question Quiz!
Many mothers and father often find themselves wondering whether they are good parents or bad parents.  The answer is really quite simple.   If you vaccinate your children and you don't spank, you're a good parent.   Good job parent!  If you vaccinate your kids but feel it's alright to spank them, you're a bad parent.  Stop it!  This flow chart diagram on parenting skills will help you understand.  Be a good parent.  Vaccinate your kids and don't spank them and you'll be a great parent.You can find many great books on Amazon about gentle parenting techniques that provide a positive ex...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - January 5, 2015 Category: Internists and Doctors of Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Marijuana Doctors' Lounge at Colorado Hospital is Nation's First.
Denver, CO -  Brooks Hospital holds the honor of being the first and only medical facility in the country to offer a full service marijuana physician lounge and doctors say they wouldn't have it any other way.  Shortly after Colorado legalized possession of one ounce or less of recreational marijuana, the private physician area was opened at the urging Dr. Jeffrey Potter, a Hospitalist upset with the declining diagnostic skills of his fellow colleagues.Physician smoking marijuana in doctors' lounge"I was shocked at the number of H&Ps and consult notes that had 'heart problems' or 'vision changes' as the ...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - December 30, 2014 Category: Internists and Doctors of Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Santa Cancels Visit to United States; Cites Strict New OSHA Regulations.
North Pole -- Santa Claus canceled his annual Christmas Eve visit to the United States to avoid strict new Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) regulations that would have required him to trim his beard to less than two inches.  Earlier this year, OSHA passed regulation 29.63.23 requiring all humans passing through a chimney in the course of normal work duties to keep their facial hair less than 2 inches long.  Failure to comply would result in a $10,000 fine per incident.Santa tells OSHA to get lost!Advocates claim bearded chimney accidents result in tens of thousands of accidents a year, includi...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - December 24, 2014 Category: Internists and Doctors of Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Hospital Avoids Bankruptcy By Building Toy Aisle at Entrances.
Chicago, IL -- Piedmont Hospital posted record profits last month by forcing all visitors to pass through a series of reconstructed  hospital entrances containing aisle after aisle of the most popular toys of the season. In less than a month, over two million dollars in profit was  generated selling Thomas trains, Elsa dolls and dozens of other must-have children's toys to families trying to keep screaming children from creating a scene as they pass their favorite toys on the way to visit their grandpa in the hospital.If you want to see grandpa, you'll have to buy a toy!Hospital officials were just  months a...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - December 19, 2014 Category: Internists and Doctors of Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Product Review: The Nice Voice Surgical Mask
Boston, MA --  Healthcare professionals have reason to rejoice with TLC Industry's new language  transformation filter - The Nice Voice - that promises to allow medical professionals to speak their minds without fear of losing their jobs.Never let honesty get you in trouble again.The Nice Voice was created by Robin Hruska, a hospital floor nurse reprimanded last year for telling an attention seeking  20 year-old female admitted through the ER with generalized weakness - after she refused to go home and take care of herself - to put down her phone, stop being a whiny little brat and get her ass out of bed.Tho...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - December 15, 2014 Category: Internists and Doctors of Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Chart Attacks a Leading Cause of Death Among Nurses.
Boston, MA -- Nursing is one of the most dangerous jobs in America, but the reasons may surprise you.  Most nurses have been kicked, punched, scratched, spit on, pooped on, bit on, hit on or called names at some point in their career, but physical assault was not the reason nurses cracked the top ten list for most dangerous jobs in America.Charting now feared as workplace hazardAn epidemic of chart attacks is sweeping through hospitals with alarming speed, afflicting thousands of nurses with deadly consequences.  A chart attack - often mistaken for a heart attack - is the collection of signs and symptoms that occ...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - December 11, 2014 Category: Internists and Doctors of Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Hospital Weights Adjusted Downward After Thanksgiving, Scoring Patient Satisfaction Win!
Memphis, TN -- A nurse at Grover Hospital struck clinical gold Monday by recalibrating hospital scales back 10 pounds, 20 pounds, 40 pounds, even 100 pounds and more - in the weekend  aftermath of Thursday's annual Thanksgiving Day bing - to try and win the third annual Most Improved Patient Satisfaction Scores Floor Contest.Customers admitted after the holiday feast will often complain to nurses they gained too much weight gorging on turkey and stuffing.  So Brian Jamison, the good looking male nurse known hospital wide for his inappropriate comments, decided to take matters into his own hand...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - December 1, 2014 Category: Internists and Doctors of Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Hospital Closes for Thanksgiving Weekend. Doctors and Nurses Rejoice!
Denver, CO -- The parking lot was empty at Piedmont Hospital today after security locked the doors, turned off the lights and erected 'No Smoking or Trespassing' signs throughout the campus.   Administrators made good on their promise to close the hospital for the extended Thanksgiving holiday weekend allowing all doctors and nurses a rare vacation at home with their families, a strategy in direct competition with Black Friday Hospital Deals. The idea was born after Nurse Jenny, a new graduate who was upset nobody ever told her before she went to nursing school that she'd have to work most holidays for the rest of her...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - November 27, 2014 Category: Internists and Doctors of Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Thanksgiving Meme Humor Collection
Enjoy this fine collection of Thanksgiving Day humor meme's you won't find anywhere else except on The Happy Hospitalist's Facebook Page, Pinterest and Twitter accounts.  Make sure to join today and never miss another day of the humor action again!  And don't forget to check out the hospital that closed for the entire Thanksgiving weekend!"Today we are thankful for Ativan. Oh yeah, and Haldol too." "Prepare yourself.  Understaffed hospital coming!" "Oh, so you gained 15 pounds of fluid after Thanksgiving?  Tell me more about how my dialysis orders are all wrong.""Prepa...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - November 27, 2014 Category: Internists and Doctors of Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Ferguson Missouri County Hospital Looted. Facebook Likes Explode.
Ferguson, MO --  Violence and looting brought chaos to Ferguson, Missouri  yesterday after a grand jury decision not to indict a white police officer involved in the death of Michael Brown, an unarmed black teenager who died earlier this year.  Ferguson County Hospital was spared no relief as rioters stormed the hospital hoping to loot anything they could get their hands on.But ransackers were disappointed to find the county hospital had nothing to take.  "We're a county hospital. We don't have anything to steal,'" said James Valentine,  Vice President of Public Relations at the hospital....
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - November 26, 2014 Category: Internists and Doctors of Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs

Orthopedic Surgeon Excited To Complete Fellowship in Left Pinky.
St Louis, MO --  Dr. James Bender is proud to call St. Louis home after 12 grueling years of training to become just one of five orthopedic surgeons nationwide super super subspecialized in the left pinky finger.  Redding Orthopedics, the largest multispecialty orthopedic practice in Missouri, hired Dr. Bender last month to be the group's go-to-guy for left pinky pathology.   He joins other highly specialized orthopedists in the group, including one spine surgeon who will only operate on L3 and a wrist surgeon who will only tackle injuries of the right Positions* boneTo become a super, super subspecialist, D...
Source: The Happy Hospitalist - November 24, 2014 Category: Internists and Doctors of Medicine Authors: Tamer Mahrous Source Type: blogs