For Older Adults a Fall Can Increase Their Chance of Serious Decline and Death
Photo credit Daniel von Appen
Dear Carol: My 86-year-old dad fell and broke his arm. After two nights in the hospital, he was sent to rehab, but the confusion that he’s experienced since his hospitalization hasn’t resolved. The family all work full time so after rehab, in order to keep Dad safe, we’ll need to move him to a facility. There’s a well-respected care home nearby so, considering the situation, I’m not worried about his long-term care. What does concern me is a friend mentioned that a fall was what signaled the end of her dad’s life. I understand that falls are hard on older bodies, but I didn't know ...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 8, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Mother's Day: Did Your Mother Really Know Best?
Photo credit Aaron Burden
Witnessing our parents' aging process can be uncomfortable. Some people consider the pain so unbearable that they find reasons to be angry with their parents. Some use other distancing behaviors so they feel justified in withdrawing. Most of us don't go to this extreme, but many of us find that we will occasionally look at one or both of our parents and feel a shockwave go through us.
"They are getting old!"
I have experienced the shock of watching my parents age before my eyes. Even though I lived in the same community as my parents and saw them often for the greater part of my life, their aging...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 7, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Caregivers Can Celebrate Mother's Day With Forgiveness
Photo credit Pexels Secret Garden
Nearly any of us who are mothers have wanted to be a perfect example of motherhood. Yet, the reality is, since we are human, most of us perceive some failures in our own mothering. We do the best that we can and often overcome tough issues of our own. Yet we are rarely saints who are often portrayed in literature and advertisements, especially during this special time when we celebrate mothers. We need to understand, love, and forgive ourselves for our perceived imperfections as mothers. And yes, we need to try to understand, love, and forgive our mothers for what may have been less than p...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 6, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Tips for Balancing Caregiving Relationships between Generations
Caregiving can creep into your life or crash down with a bang, but either way, if we aren’t thinking ahead, we can find that our other relationships suffer. Oh man, I’ve been there.
This is how it often happens: You see your parents a lot since you still live in the same community. So, when your mom falls and breaks her arm, of course, you rush to help. You assist your dad with making some adjustments around the house, and then, for the most part, he takes over. Then, the unthinkable: Your dad has a heart attack. You rush in to help. And then…
I refer to this as the “creep-up factor” because while many situ...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 5, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Coping with Dementia Care Burnout
Photo credit Tuva Mathilde Loland
You watch your once mentally sharp loved one decline before your eyes. Their uncontrollable behaviors, mood swings, outbursts, confusion, and memory loss are heartbreaking. The worry that a single lapse in supervision may result in your loved one wandering off, falling down or having some other accident is overwhelming. Caring for a senior with Alzheimer’s disease (AD) or another type of dementia involves significant physical, mental, emotional, and financial investments. Family caregivers often struggle to balance dementia care while working, nurturing relationships with their immediate...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 4, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Facing the Facts: How to Handle Parents Who Are Aging
For most of us, our parents are just there — seemingly invincible as we grow up. Once we leave home, we’re on a mission to move into our own adulthood with our parents moving to the background, but still a solid, if often unacknowledged, presence. As we move on with our lives, creating careers, marriages, and possibly children, most parents continue to be involved in some capacity. Many families are close, while others can be both physically and emotionally more distant. Still, there is a parent-child relationship that younger people rarely think deeply about. It just is. Then there’s that first time when...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 3, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Bladder Cancer: Incontinence Can Be a Side Effect
Bladder cancer isn’t a common condition, but the American Cancer Society estimates that there will be 83,730 new cases of bladder cancer (about 64,280 in men and 19,450 in women) and about 17,200 deaths from bladder cancer (about 12,260 in men and 4,940 in women) in 2021. That isn’t something to ignore, either.
Bladder cancer tends to occur in older people with about nine out of 10 people who develop this cancer being over the age of 55. The average age of people when they are diagnosed is 73. Though each person's risk of developing the cancer is individual, it will affect approximately one in 27 men and one in 8...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 2, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
A Dementia Spouse Grieves Husband ’s Loss of Memory on Their Anniversary
Photo credit Kampus
Dear Carol: Last week marked the anniversary of the day that my husband and I married. Not only didn’t he remember our anniversary, but he doesn’t always understand that I’m his wife. It’s not his fault, of course, it’s his dementia, but that day nearly undid me. I tried to celebrate for the two of us by making a nice dinner, but he has no interest in food now. I even sent us flowers and bought two cards, one for him and one from him, but after I got him to bed, I sat up crying. Although friends tried to help, this can’t be fixed. I’m recovering, of course, that’s what caregivers do, yet...
Source: Minding Our Elders - May 1, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Detaching With Love: Setting Boundaries with Difficult Elderly Parents
Photo credit David Hinkle
When the family member we are trying to care for is critical, impossible to please or emotionally abusive, long-standing family dynamics are often to blame. I’m not talking about an elder who is suffering from chronic pain or has little control over their moods and behaviors because of Alzheimer’s disease or another type of dementia. In those cases, it is clear that we need the help of professionals to find a solution, like palliative care for symptom relief or a memory care unit that specializes in dementia behaviors. What I'm referring to are children who after a historically tox...
Source: Minding Our Elders - April 30, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Top 3 Excuses from Siblings Who Don't Help with Caregiving
Photo creditn Matheus Ferrero
Unfair as it may seem, even in families with many adult children, one sibling usually becomes the primary caregiver for their aging parents. In many families, such as mine, this person is the one who lives the closest to the parents and/or is most suited for the task of caregiving. In my case, I fit both criteria. But this didn’t keep my sister, who lived about 50 miles away, from coming to town nearly every weekend to visit with our parents and lend a hand. However, in some families, this relatively short distance would be enough of an excuse for some siblings to justify helping minimally a...
Source: Minding Our Elders - April 29, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
A Common Caregiver Confession: “I Secretly Wish My Ill Loved One Would Die”
Photo credit Sander Weeteling
New Caregivers Are Driven By Love and Hope: Most of these caregivers are decent folks who care deeply about their elderly parents, spouses, and other loved ones who require their assistance. As so many of us do, they have taken on the responsibility of caregiving out of love. Our help is needed, so we jump in without a thought. We have no idea that this role could last for years or even decades. It doesn’t occur to us that this decision could jeopardize our relationships, our careers, our health, or our finances, but that is the reality for most.
Many families are suddenly thrust into caregi...
Source: Minding Our Elders - April 27, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
How to Get Over Feelings That Prevent You from Visiting Someone in Assisted Living or a Nursing Home
Photo credit Armin Lofti
People cite numerous reasons for why they hate visiting nursing homes. Some can’t stand funky smells, others find the sight of disengaged, listless seniors depressing, and most feel guilty over the fact that they’d rather spend time anywhere else. The truth is that most of us experience some level of discomfort over the thought of visiting a skilled nursing facility. This aversion is very similar to the widespread dislike of hospitals. These are places where people go when they are very ill and require a high level of care. For families who have loved ones living in nursing homes, this di...
Source: Minding Our Elders - April 26, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Lewy Body Dementia: Caregivers' Personal Experiences
According to the Lewy Body Dementia Association (LBDA), Lewy Body Dementia (LBD) is a progressive brain disease. They say that it also is the second most common cause of neurodegenerative dementia after Alzheimer’s. LBD is a spectrum disorder, meaning it can occur alone or in combination with Parkinson’s disease (Parkinson’s disease with Lewy bodies), or even co-exist with Alzheimer’s disease. The LBDA states that LBD accounts for up to 20 percent of dementia cases in the U.S. That means that up to 1.3 million cases of LBD are diagnosed in the U.S. alone...
Continue reading on HealthCentral for more about Lewy body...
Source: Minding Our Elders - April 25, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
Caregiver ’s Family Inadvertently Triggers Feelings of Guilt and Failure
Photo credit Liza Summer
Dear Carol: I’ve been caring for my mom with dementia at home for five years. Social media is a blessing because online caregiving groups allow me to feel supported and even socialize without leaving Mom. The problem is that my family also uses social media, and they think they are helping by tagging me with all of these “every day is a good day” memes. I appreciate their good intentions, but dementia care is hard. Many days are a struggle so well-intentioned as they are, instead of helping me they just end up making me feel guilty for failing as a caregiver. How do I them know t...
Source: Minding Our Elders - April 24, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
How Hiring a Handy Person Can Help Your Older Parents Stay Well
Photo credit Louis Hansel
Years ago I saw a van whose driver was letting teenagers off in front of the local high school, where I was doing the same. I noted the modestly painted letters on the side of the van with the name of a company that provided "neighborhood services." I'm not sure why I noted that, as I didn't need such services at the time. But I was curious. I was caring for many elders, and I was well aware of the stress homeownership can have on people as they age.
Many elders want to keep their homes. Many are not in undue danger of falling unless they climb a ladder they shouldn't climb. They can shovel...
Source: Minding Our Elders - April 23, 2022 Category: Geriatrics Authors: Carol Bradley Bursack Source Type: blogs
