First Rule of Providing Comfort in Grief Is to Avoid Advice or Judgment

Photo credit Samuel Edwards  Dear Carol: My long-widowed mother, 83, died with COVID-19. I’m struggling with grief as most people would do in normal times. I have additional grief to deal with, though, because she died in a nursing home setting with only my dad allowed by her bedside. People try to offer condolences but then ruin the attempt by asking if I blame the facility. I don’t because they seemed to do all that they could, but even if I did blame them, isn’t this an odd time to ask?  Some people think that I’m over-reacting because mom was old and "would have died soon," anyway. Oh, then someone else asked if I prayed hard enough! It’s kind of late to help me, but maybe you could suggest that people watch their words. Please tell them to leave their judgment at home. – KG Continue reading on Inforum for insight into how we can do better to support a grieving family: Purchase Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories – paperback or ebook  Incontinence problems? Try Egosan premium underwear for discrete, dignified protection. For 20% off your first order on Amazon you can go here, or use promo Code: 20CareGivers.                Related StoriesFaith and Alzheimer's: An InterviewHow to Cope With an Older Adult's Complaining and NegativityA Story from the Sandwich Generation: Caring for Kids and Parents 
Source: Minding Our Elders - Category: Geriatrics Authors: Source Type: blogs