The Difference Between My Sadness and Depression

I have experienced sadness and depression, and I know there is a big difference between the two. Even though I live with a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder, sometimes I feel sad, and I recently began taking medication for depression. When I experience sadness, I drink more coffee, cruise the social network for something to inspire me, and I wish I had someone to ask, “What would you like to do on this lovely, Saturday?” The last time I experience some depression, I was experiencing some suicide ideation for which, luckily, I did not have to be hospitalized. My psychiatrist, at the time put me on a low dose of an anti-depressant.  My depression is a deep pool, and I cannot touch the bottom. I am about to sink, and I do not have a way to swim to the ladder or wall. I am surrounded by water and there is nothing or no one to rescue me. The faces of my family pictured on my office wall do not affect me. My mother’s pleas cannot break the wave of water about to swallow me whole. I must cry out for help.  In 2013, I was hospitalized for my depression for which I had no control. I slept a lot. I could not put into words what I was feeling, however, my doctors understood. I hate being hospitalized, but that was the only way I could leave the ledge and my feet be on steady ground again. I realize now that my only way to save myself was to be hospitalized. Those doctors saved me, and I am grateful.  The depression reminded me of a similar feeling I had in high school....
Source: Psych Central - Category: Psychiatry Authors: Tags: Antidepressants Depression Personal Stories Schizoaffective Disorder Suicide Antipsychotic Sadness Suicidal Ideation Suicide Ideation Source Type: news