How to Keep Yourself from Cheating

It can be tempting to cheat, I know. After over 40 years as a therapist, I’ve heard many, many reasons that people (even people who say they love their partner) give for cheating. There’s the thrill of the forbidden, the notion that what’s out there may be better than what you’ve got, the affirmation that comes from feeling attractive to someone else — especially when self-esteem is shaky, the satisfaction of someone preferring you to the partner they’ve got, and the itch to explore what could have been or could be sexually with someone else. Whatever rationalization you tell yourself, cheating seldom works as an answer to any of those concerns. After the thrill or comfort or self-discovery, most affairs end with a crash and a burn. Cheating hurts. It often hurts all three people involved: The cheater feels guilty, the cheated on feels betrayed, and the paramour feels ever anxious that what was done with them will someday be done to them. There is a better way. Let’s first define cheating. In cards, cheating is doing something that is meant to defraud the other player by doing something fundamentally dishonest. A cheater unilaterally and secretly violates the rules of the game. Cheating in relationships isn’t different. Every couple has a stated or implicit set of rules for sexual fidelity in their relationship. Such rules are highly personal and aren’t always what other people consider “normal” or the “way things should be.” But every couple doe...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Marriage and Divorce Relationships Self-Help Breakups Cheating Infidelity Insecurity Midlife Crisis Source Type: blogs