You are Special, Just Like Everyone Else!

A light bulb went off when I saw a bumper sticker for sale that read “Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.” Yes, we are special. But are we more special than others? Many people flash a wry smile as they read my head-turning — if not head-scratching — bumper sticker. Attachment theory tells us that children need to feel welcomed, wanted, and loved. They need to feel special in the eyes of caregivers in order to develop a secure internal based. Even as adults, we want to feel special to our partner and close friends. But can our desire to be special become a liability? It’s one thing to want to feel special to our partner, family, and friends. It’s quite another to want to be a special person. I’ve often seen clients who’ve been trained to believe that they’re better than others. Believing that we’re superior — or that we should be — is a heavy burden to bear.  A theme I have often heard from clients goes something like this: “My parents always told me, ‘You’re not like everyone else. You’re special.’” On the surface, this might seem like a positive message that would build self-worth. It might be counterintuitive, but it’s more likely to have the opposite effect!  Being special meant she had to look and act a certain way. She had to speak, dress, and behave in ways suitable for a “special” person. When she lost her job during the coronavirus crisis, she wouldn’t allow herself to apply for ...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Happiness Mental Health and Wellness Psychology Self-Esteem Self-Help mutual authenticity Perfectionism self-worth Source Type: blogs