The Power of Delusion

Back in the Army when I was in the depths of undiagnosed schizophrenia, I wrote long letters asking my friends and family if they could see and feel what I was experiencing while stationed in the Mojave desert. I thought if I could persuade them to stare at a TV or computer screen and fixate on it, then they would be able to hear my voice, and I could hear theirs.  I tried to write everything that went through my mixed up mind into the letters I sent to my friends and family. For example, my brother was a cook at this restaurant at the time. In my mind, I thought I could see him driving and showing up to work. In the letters I might ask, “Could you feel my presence?” or “Do you remember seeing me?” I also thought if people made eye contact with me, they could instantly mentally connect with me,  and we could talk to each other without having to look at each other face to face. I could explain to them, through our telepathy, what was going on around me, and I thought it was possible for them to hear the same voices I was hearing inside my head.   Not everyone liked hearing the voices inside my head. I thought that one of my friends started sobbing when she was driving home because of all the voices she was hearing. I did my best to tell her it was going to be okay. I remember telling my aunt, who I thought was hearing my voices, that she could block some out if she just concentrated on her work or exercised.   The voices in my head are often family, f...
Source: Psych Central - Category: Psychiatry Authors: Tags: Personal Stories Schizoaffective Disorder Schizophrenia Delusions positive symptoms Psychosis Source Type: news