Self Compassion: The Secret to Keeping the Promises You Make to Yourself

It is not just at the beginning of a new year that people promise themselves to do better. I rarely make New Year’s resolutions. But there are always times during the year when I think about something I just said or did, or didn’t do, and say to myself, “Self, you have got to do better.”  But how? My natural inclination is to berate myself. I’ll give you a trivial example. Sometimes I carelessly do something that costs me money. At the supermarket, for instance, I pick up a yogurt that I know is on sale. But when it gets rung up, I don’t get the discount. Oh, it only applied to certain flavors; I forgot about that and picked up one that didn’t qualify. When I do something like that, I tell myself that I have just paid “the stupid tax.” That’s the tax I levy on myself by being stupid.  At some level, I do seem to think that if I remind myself often enough about how stupid I am, I will stop being so stupid.  A whole different approach to motivating yourself to do better comes from those who believe in the power of self-esteem. They might suggest that I come up with way to boost my own self-esteem, instead of chastising myself. Maybe something like, “Well, self, you have a Ph.D.! How stupid can you be? Maybe you’re really smart.”  Kristin Neff, Ph.D., does not think either of these approaches is likely to be particularly effective — and she has scientific evidence on her side. Our motivational superpower, she believes, is self-compassion.  Wh...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Mindfulness New Year's Self-Help brene brown kristin neff self-compassion Self-Esteem Self-Talk self-worth Source Type: blogs