How Conflict Can Be Constructive

Full disclosure, I have long considered myself conflict avoidant. Chalk it up to being a Libra peacemaker, who craves harmonious relationships, as well as someone who grew up in a household in which raised voices were rare. As a result, I didn’t learn how to gracefully navigate the waters of opposing viewpoints. More often than not, I would “go along to get along” and refrain from rocking the boat lest it capsize in emotionally stormy seas. Those were also the roots of long-time co-dependency which led me to relationships in which I was often attempting to figure out how to maintain peace and keep everyone happy. A futile task, even for a career therapist. With all that in mind, there were still times when I would disagree with my parents. I recall an encounter with my dad who encouraged a neighbor boy to strike back physically when another kid called him names. I was appalled when he did that and self-righteously stormed out of the house. As a 20-something pacifist at the time, I asked him what right he had to tell someone else’s offspring to haul off and hit someone when he was not being physically threatened. My father’s response was that “There is a different code of ethics for men.” His contention was that if he didn’t stand up for himself and show his superiority, he would continue to be a target. We never resolved that one, although I did eventually return home. The reality is that we each have our own perspective about how life should be and t...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Communication Personal Relationships Conflict Avoidance Conflict Resolution Source Type: blogs