Choosing Freedom, After Decades of Switching Addictions

This article includes references to self-injury, intravenous drug use and disordered eating.* One in five US high school students have reported being bullied. Approximately 160,000 teenagers have skipped school as a preventative measure. I encountered bullies for the first time in second grade, in the midst of such an innocent time of my youth. I dreaded entering my elementary school classroom, as I was well aware of what my presence would entail. I endured both verbal and physical harassment from my fellow peers for nearly a decade. I was passive, inevitably leading to the acceptance of my “fate,” in addition to suffering in silence. My mother was exceedingly popular in bygone days. She was a cheerleader, with a whole host of friends. I admired my mom, but I was fearful when it came to the possibility of disappointing her. When I considered unveiling the truth about my school life, my undoubted hesitation drove me to opt out.  Holding in so much agony and depression compromised my sanity. I craved an escape from the turmoil that ran rampant inside of me. Plastering a fake smile onto my face each day to appease my mother only worsened the matter. One evening after school, I filled my void to satiety. I can vividly recall cutting the flesh of my inner forearm with a razor blade. Self-mutilation releases endorphins that can produce euphoria and calmness, making it a dangerously addictive habit. I proceeded down this road for several years. The benefits I reaped initially ...
Source: Psych Central - Category: Psychiatry Authors: Tags: Addictions Anorexia Bullying Depression Eating Disorders Personal Stories Substance Abuse Addiction Recovery Anorexia Nervosa Drug Use heroin Self Harm Self Injury Source Type: news