On Mental Health Stigma

One thing I shared with my wife Rachel about a year into our relationship was the time I suffered a nervous breakdown in graduate school. It would be an important moment in any relationship because I shared the time in my life when I was most vulnerable and at my weakest point. Did I technically suffer a nervous breakdown? I’m not sure, all I remember is the turning point came when I drove home late one night, collapsed on my kitchen floor and started crying uncontrollably. Up to that point, I had developed a quasi-schizophrenic outlook on life and could no longer bear the weight of the world-view I constructed. In psychological terms, my conscious self could no longer handle the subconscious content coming forth. In some ways I blame the state of Texas. In other ways, I blame myself. I guess going from the state of Washington to graduate school in a college town north of Dallas was too much culture shock for me. It didn’t help I had social anxiety issues that surfaced during my early college years, later resulting in depression. By the time I got to Texas, I just wasn’t able to adapt to a new school, new friends, and a totally new Texas way of life. During that time period in my life I remember keeping a journal. I remember writing about new meanings of different colors and numbers, or at least new ways I interpreted them. For example, I remember sometimes wearing red shirts to signify I was wounded or bleeding. I felt my soul was bleeding or perhaps that I was a woun...
Source: Psych Central - Category: Psychiatry Authors: Tags: Borderline Personality Personal Stories Stigma Suicide Antidepressants Borderline Personality Disorder college Delusions Life Transition Nervous Breakdown Paranoia Psychosis Shame Stigmatization Source Type: news