What Doesn ’t Kill You Makes You — Different

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” — Haruki Murakami “People keep telling me what doesn’t kill me will make me stronger. I’ve come to hate that phrase.” Janie B. has been going through a tough time. She is overseeing the care of her elderly mother who has Alzheimer’s. Her husband lost his job, throwing them into financial difficulty. And Janie herself has had some health issues. Friends and family mean well. That chestnut of a phrase about finding strength through adversity is intended to encourage her. Instead it has become an annoyance and, worse for Janie, a pressure. “I mean, what if I don’t get stronger? What if I just manage to keep going? Isn’t that enough?” Janie has a point. It’s hard for people who are in the midst of a traumatic experience or  cascade of life’s challenges to get on board with the idea that it will toughen them up. Why should they? It’s hard enough to get through the day without feeling like a failure if they don’t feel strengthened by the process. Let’s give ourselves and others a break; we may or may not become “stronger.” It’s enough to acknowledge that tragedy can reset how we deal with many aspects of our ...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Grief and Loss Motivation and Inspiration Self-Help Coping Skills grieving personal loss Resilience Source Type: blogs