Why She Stayed

I posted on Facebook about the photos of Nigella Lawson having her neck squeezed by Charles Saatchi and called him a typical abusive creep for making a statement minimising his behaviour by describing it as merely a "playful tiff". One of my friends said "I just cannot understand why such a smart, beautiful and independently successful woman would have stayed with him throughout torment like this!" I thought about this and decided to respond here instead of on Facebook. I don't know why she stayed, only she can answer. But I would be very surprised if at least some of the reasons I shall list don't apply.  So here is why she and people like her may stay: It started out so slowly and insidiously that she didn't realise it was abuse until she was married or much later. She thinks that she doesn't deserve better. She's afraid, confused, guilty and burdened by obligation. He's hurting and needs her love. She can heal him, it's her duty to just keep giving. She thinks she's to blame for most of what goes wrong- if she could stop being so emotional and weak things might improve. She sees him behave properly in every other situation except with her- it's her fault. She minimises incidents, explosions, hurts and humiliations as soon as things get on a more even keel.  She feels embarrassed, thinks she overreacts, knows she's not perfect, thinks of herself as too argumentative and combatative.  She finds it hard to keep track of what happens. She still feels love for...
Source: The Voyage - Category: Autism Source Type: blogs