Can Narcissism Be Healthy? Does It Differ from Self-Love?

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance,” wrote Oscar Wilde. Known for his wit and irony, was Wilde referring to narcissism or real self-love? There is a difference. His use of the word “romance” suggests the former. That’s a key to differentiate the two concepts.  In contrast to genuine love, romantic love is filtered by illusion and idealization. In the romantic phase of relationships, intense feelings are predominantly based on projection and physical pleasure. All is rosy, because we don’t really know the other person or see his or her flaws. In Wilde’s novel about narcissism, Dorian Gray, Dorian, a narcissist, falls in love with his appearance in a portrait of himself just as mythological Narcissus loved his own reflection in a pool of water. Like Narcissus, Dorian was incapable of interest in, or love for, anyone else. Both were oblivious to their arrogance, sense of entitlement, or cruelty to the women who loved them. Self-love and Narcissism Compared Real self-love encompasses loving our frailty and flaws. It’s beyond self-esteem, which is a self-evaluation. We totally accept ourselves. Unlike Dorian, who could not bear the thought of growing old while his portrait remained young, when we love ourselves, we are connected to our ageless self. Self-love makes us humble. We have no need to parade behind a façade of false pride. Nor do we idealize and aggrandize ourselves or deny or hide our weaknesses and flaws. Instead, we embrace our f...
Source: Psych Central - Category: Psychiatry Authors: Tags: Codependence Narcissism Boundaries Ego Empathy Self Love Self Worth Self-Esteem Shame Source Type: news