Is Your Past Too Heavy to Haul Around?

Imagine a cloth bag containing 10 pounds of river rocks, their surface smoothed by years of water washing over them, tumbling them, moving them downstream. You are asked how long you could possibly hold the bag draped over your shoulder or held extended out from one arm. What might your answer be? When I offered this exercise at a substance addiction out-patient rehab where I worked from 2012-2014, the teens would laugh and say that they could do it for an extended period of time. I nodded and they took on the challenge. Within moments, their resolve faded as they realized how heavy 10 pounds could be and try as they might, a minute or so was all they could handle. I gave them a few options. They could either put the whole thing down or take the rocks out a few at a time and see if that made it easier to hold. The rocks represented the choices they had made, the drugs they ingested, the ill-advised friendships they had attracted and maintained, and even more powerful; the beliefs they held that enabled all of this to occur. I asked what it might feel like, in either case, to unburden themselves and stand up straight. Several had been bent by childhood events, losses, parental substance addictions, family dysfunction and the concomitant choices they had made and thought they still had to. I reminded them that their history need not be their destiny. That line remains with me each day as well. My history is not my destiny, regardless of how deeply entrenched my beliefs might ...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Perfectionism Personal Self-Esteem Self-Help Substance Abuse Success & Achievement Addiction Failure Personal Growth regret Self Improvement self-worth Source Type: blogs