How Affirming Your Intrinsic Worth Can Help Your Social Anxiety

Steven tries to appear cool as he gulps down his third beer. The others at the bar would never know how much anxiety he feels in social situations. They would be surprised by the degree to which this 31-year-old salesman obsesses about how people view him. Because Steven wants to be seen as being “on top of his game,” he has become adept at reading what people want and then managing their perceptions in order to meet their expectations. But inside he feels anxious and insecure when interacting with others. He is convinced that expressing what he truly thinks and feels will result in no one wanting to be around him. In his earlier years, Steven was overweight and shy. He always felt inadequate, an outsider with his peers. All his life Steven has allowed the opinions of authority figures, peers and the norms of society to guide his decisions and define his worth. The price he pays is the inability to be his real self. Steven’s situation illustrates the social anxiety that comes from over-reliance on external influences. Being concerned about how others perceive him creates unnecessary stress, and causes Steven to downplay his needs and be too accommodating. By conforming to other people’s ideas of how and who he should be, he tries to get approval and acceptance. In our culture, the measure of success and acceptability is often based on projecting the correct image. However, allowing external influences to define you fosters perfectionism and self-neglect — and u...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Self-Esteem Self-Help approval Core Values intrinsic qualities self-worth Shame Social Anxiety Source Type: blogs