What I Learned About Loving Again After an Abusive Relationship

Once you’re out of an abusive relationship you want nothing more than to enjoy being free. You want to leave your ex in the dust and live again. Breathe again, adventure again, go to the damn grocery store without being accused of cheating again. And most people savor this time. That was me. I left my four year-long, tire fire of a life choice and enjoyed being single and free. I enjoyed being me again. I did see a therapist for a while at first. Which helped. He was kind and listened but, to be honest, I didn’t want to talk or think about my ex anymore — he had stolen enough of my life. I didn’t want to heal by talking; I wanted to heal by doing. And it worked! I chased my passions again and rebuilt myself back into a person I was proud of. If I am being totally transparent, I didn’t ever want to be in another relationship again. So, obviously, after a few years of the single and free life, one fell into my lap. Not just any relationship, an AMAZING relationship. But here is the thing that no one talks about, dating again after an abusive relationship is traumatic. Like super traumatic. Every single fear that your ex instilled in you starts exploding to the surface. It is scary and you feel crazy. It makes you feel like maybe it’s you, maybe you are the toxic one. That was exactly how I felt. And it was uncontrollable, all my anxieties and fears were overwhelming and because my partner couldn’t magically erase all my traumas, I took it all out on him. Her...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Inspiration & Hope Personal PTSD Self-Esteem Self-Help Trauma Violence and Aggression Women's Issues Dating Domestic Violence Emotional Abuse Fear Panic Attacks Posttraumatic growth Posttraumatic Stress self-worth traumatic Source Type: blogs