Learn to say ‘no’ and ‘yes’ for better sex… and to improve your whole life

Conveying our deepest desires, likes and dislikes, to our most intimate partner is essential. Here ’s how…“Yes,” I say, surprisingly firmly, to the man I have never met before, whose name I do not even know, who is massaging my back and shoulders. “Yes. Yes, please.”I am lying on a mat on the floor of a conference room in a London hotel and around me three people – complete strangers – are rubbing my back. “Zero,” I say suddenly, which is the code word for stop. It’s not because I want the massage to end – in truth, it feels rather soothing – but because we have been encouraged to try saying “no” as well as “yes”. That, after all, is th e point of the exercise. According to the leader of this workshop, intimacy and relationships expertJan Day, we find “no” extremely difficult to say, and our lives would be better if we could bring ourselves to say it more readily. Instantly, the people surrounding me draw back, and I revel in the afterglow of both having articulated the difficult message I wanted to convey, and having it acted upon.Continue reading...
Source: Guardian Unlimited Science - Category: Science Authors: Tags: Sex Life and style Psychology Science Health & wellbeing Source Type: news