Why Therapists Break Up With Their Patients

Most people come to therapy to talk about relationships — with their partners, parents, children, and, of course, themselves — only to discover how significant their relationship with their therapist will become. In fact, studies show that the most important factor in the success of therapy is your connection with your therapist, the experience of “feeling felt.” This matters more than the therapist’s training, the kind of therapy being done, or the type of problem you have. It makes sense, then, that patients who don’t feel felt might cut things off. The reverse, however, is also true: Sometimes therapists break up with their patients. You may not consider this when you first step into a therapist’s office, but our goal is to stop seeing you. In the bittersweet way that parents raise their kids not to need them anymore, therapists work to lose patients, not retain them, because the successful outcome is that you feel better and leave. (Can you imagine a worse business model?) But occasionally we have to say goodbye sooner. Nearly every therapist has initiated a breakup at some point, though knowing that didn’t make it easier the first time I had to do it myself. I’ll call the patient Becca. At 30 years old, she came to me because she struggled in her social life. She did well at work but felt confused and hurt when her peers excluded her. Meanwhile, she’d dated a string of men who seemed excited at first but broke ...
Source: TIME: Health - Category: Consumer Health News Authors: Tags: Uncategorized onetime psychology Therapy Source Type: news

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