Infertility: Maintaining privacy, avoiding secrecy

When Michelle Obama’s memoir, Becoming, was released in October 2018, several reviewers noted that her book reveals that the Obamas struggled with infertility. When I was lucky enough to receive a copy as a gift, I learned that Michelle and Barack didn’t simply have a ‘touch of infertility’: they went through IVF in order to have both Malia and Sasha. Why, some reviewers seemed to wonder, was the public learning this significant piece of the Obamas history now? And, to be bipartisan about it, we learned in Laura Bush’s 2010 memoir, Spoken From the Heart, that she and her husband had endured a long struggle with infertility and were planning to adopt when they found they were expecting twins Jenna and Barbara. My response is this: The Obamas and the Bushes, so different in so many ways, share the perspective of countless other infertile couples and individuals: infertility is not a secret, but it is private. One might also say that the Obamas and Bushes acknowledge their infertility because it is in the past. For both couples, it brought them two cherished daughters. I have seen that when people are in the trenches of infertility, questions about what to say, when, and how swirl around in their heads. Secrets, truth, and privacy Most people recognize the danger of secrets. Secrets lead to feelings of shame. They distance family and friends and promote misunderstandings. Couples determined to tell no one about their infertility may find others assume they don’t want...
Source: Harvard Health Blog - Category: Consumer Health News Authors: Tags: Fertility Infertility Relationships Source Type: blogs