Reasons Family Members Side with Sexual Abusers

Living with the emotional effects of sexual abuse is painful enough. Unfortunately, many survivors open up about their abuse only to find that their family members’ reactions toward them are just as painful — if not more so — than the original trauma. It may shock some people to learn that family members often choose to side with sexual abuse perpetrators and against their victims, especially if the abuse was committed within the family. I regularly hear from sexual abuse survivors who tell me the myriad ways their families scold and reject them in the aftermath of disclosure, all while favoring their abusers. These brave survivors get left out of family gatherings while their abusers are invited. They are pressured to “forgive” the perpetrator (whatever that means) and consider his or her feelings — even while their own pain, responses to trauma, and/or anger toward the perpetrator are overlooked at best and condemned at worst. Survivors who press charges against their perpetrators often end up ostracized and blamed for ruining the abuser’s life, despite the obvious hypocrisy of this statement. In these situations, perpetrators are embraced and favored by family members as they join together in shutting down acknowledgment of, or attention to, sexual abuse. Survivors, on the other hand, are blamed and viewed as the troublemakers in the family. This upside-down family attitude has a devastating effect on survivors. They are left feeling alone, unpro...
Source: Psych Central - Category: Psychiatry Authors: Tags: Abuse Domestic Violence PTSD Trauma Source Type: news