How to Deal with an Especially Cruel Inner Critic

It’s common for you to have a running commentary in your mind that sounds something like this: You’ll never get that job. You’re not smart, cool or creative enough. That fight was all your fault. You don’t belong at that party with those accomplished people. You’ll never finish that project. You’ll never achieve that goal. Who do you think you are? If you don’t get a perfect grade on that paper, it’ll confirm you’re a fraud. Scratch that. You are a fraud. You’re also a terrible mother. You also can’t do anything right. You also aren’t worthy of _______ and ________. And ________.  And you assume these constant, cruel words are the truth. You assume they’re gospel. Many clients who see Lauren Canonico realize they’re hard on themselves. But they’re less aware of the stringent, sky-high standards they set and where those standards stem from, said Canonico, LCSW, a psychotherapist and consultant in private practice in New York City. “Most people don’t know how they came to feel the way they do about themselves.” The inner critic originates from early experiences with primary caregivers. We internalize how these significant caregivers relate and perceive us in the world, said Dr. Christina Cruz, Psy.D, a life coach who specializes in low self-esteem, perfectionism, anxiety, depression and body image. “Their voice and perceptions of us become our voice and become how we relate to ourselves. Because primary caregivers have such a strong r...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: General Mental Health and Wellness Self-Esteem Success & Achievement Source Type: blogs