5 Essential Communication Tips for Couples

Many couples make this mistake: They expect and assume that harmony will automatically happen in their relationship. But the opposite is true: “What appears automatically in human relationships is friction,” said Chris Kingman, LCSW, a psychotherapist and couples expert in Manhattan. That’s because partners have different preferences, styles, expectations and needs, he said. Harmony actually happens when we deal constructively and effectively with the inevitable frictions inside our relationships (and our lives). One way we can do that is through communicating well with our partners. In the book More Love, Less Conflict: A Communication Playbook for Couples, psychotherapist Jonathan Robinson, MFT, shares a variety of valuable pointers and insights. Below are five important tips from his book. Come from a sincere place of curiosity. Curiosity is powerful. When someone is curious about us—how we’re doing, how we’re feeling, what we like, what we need—it’s validating. It’s the first step to helping us feel understood and cared for. Curiosity sharpens our connection with our partner, and helps us resolve conflict. But the key is to be sincere about it. For instance, Robinson was working with a couple who frequently fought. The husband said he’d try this technique in session. His first two questions were: “Why don’t you appreciate anything I do for you? Why are you upset all the time?” The problem? The first question reeks of blame. The second reeks of re...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Communication General Marriage and Divorce Mental Health and Wellness Relationships Self-Help Source Type: blogs