Should You Stay Friends With an Ex? Here ’s What Experts Say

Few relationship questions are as polarizing as whether or not you should stay friends with an ex. For every person who tries to salvage the good and forget the bad, there’s another who’d rather move on and never look back. Anecdotal evidence feeds arguments on both sides — but what do the experts say? Rachel Sussman, a New York City-based psychotherapist and author of The Breakup Bible, advises caution when it comes to staying friends, but says there are couples for whom it works; ultimately, she says, it’s “an individual determination.” Nonetheless, Sussman says there are some guidelines all exes should follow after a breakup. When to cut ties with an ex Under no circumstances should a relationship that was abusive, manipulative or toxic transition into a friendship, Sussman says. But even if your relationship was generally healthy and simply didn’t work out, you might want to think twice before becoming pals. One 2000 study, for example, found that friendships between exes were more likely to have negative qualities, and less likely to have positive ones, than cross-sex platonic friendships. That may be especially true if you were never friends before you dated, Sussman says. “If you had a really strong connection and a really strong love affair with a very erotic sex life, how do you become friends with that person?” Sussman says. “Chemistry doesn’t always change.” Sussman also says there are potenti...
Source: TIME: Health - Category: Consumer Health News Authors: Tags: Uncategorized healthytime onetime Sex/Relationships Source Type: news