A Mother ’ s Day Guide to Cultivating a Better Mother-Child Relationship

An Emotion- and Trauma-Informed Perspective I am a psychotherapist specializing in emotions, trauma and relationships. Over the years I have been in practice, I have really come to appreciate the complexity of feelings around family, especially mothers. I know that personally, before I learned to work with my emotions, I had a very limited capacity to deal with conflicts other than to blame my parents for the ways they failed me or blame myself for not being a better daughter. Now, I view blame as a way to avoid the underlying core emotions like sadness and anger, which naturally arise from being hurt by one’s mother. Unfortunately, avoiding emotions makes people feel worse (anxious, depressed, disconnected) in the long run. Take Courtney, for example. Her relationship with her mother had always been fraught, but with Mother’s Day coming soon and her mother, Ruth, starting to decline with age, Courtney wanted them to learn to communicate more authentically. Like many children who are mistreated, abused or neglected, she had internalized a belief that she did something wrong when she had not. I encouraged Courtney to interview her aunts and uncle to learn how her mother had been before Courtney was born. Courtney learned that Ruth had always struggled to maintain relationships. People got fed up with Ruth so she either lost friends or cut them off to save face. This new knowledge was relieving to Courtney. I helped Courtney by sharing some tips to understand emotions as ...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Agitation Anger Children and Teens Communication Holiday Coping Parenting Relationships Self-Esteem Self-Help Students Trauma Women's Issues abuse Aging Parents Coping on Mother's Day Guilt Trip mother child relationship Source Type: blogs