8 Ways to Support Yourself Through Bereavement

As we age we are inevitably bereaved more often, and it is at a time of our life when we are more vulnerable. Research shows that the generation that are in their 60’s and older are the least likely to access or receive appropriate support when someone dies, and this is particularly true of men. Through my work as a bereavement psychotherapist for the last 25 years, I have learned from my clients what can help them at such a difficult time, and I have developed the concept of “pillars of strength” — these are active things we can do to help us manage the pain of loss, and build an internal structure when we feel there is a terrible black hole inside us.   1. Relationship with the Person Who Has Died A central pillar in the support of our system is finding ways to externalize that relationship. It may be by wearing something that connects to them, like their watch, or a scarf. Visiting their grave; creating a memory box in which you place special objects, assembling a photograph album; or writing to them. Cooking their favorite recipe. 2. Relationship with Oneself As our relationship with the world and others is changed by grief, so does our relationship with ourselves change. We need to show ourselves self-compassion, to listen to our own needs, to be kind and to avoid self-attack in the form of constant self-criticism. We all need defense mechanisms, and we need to work out whether we need to build other mechanisms in a particular situation, for exa...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Books Family General Grief and Loss Personal Psychotherapy Relationships Self-Esteem Self-Help Source Type: blogs