Are You Making These 4 Communication Mistakes in Your Romantic Relationship?

We assume that communication should come naturally to us, and maybe we think it does, especially in our romantic relationships. After all, we communicate all the time. We talk to our partners all the time about a wide range of topics, from what’s going on with our jobs to what’s for dinner to why we’re feeling so upset. But good—clear, connection-enhancing—communication takes work. It requires some education, effort and practice. You’ll likely still stumble from time to time. Because, of course, you’re human. In fact, you might be unwittingly making certain communication mistakes right now—mistakes that actually ignite or exacerbate conflict between you and your partner. Below you’ll find four common communication mistakes, along with how you can fix them.  Mistake #1: Using some version of “I totally understand” According to Chris Kingman, LCSW, who specializes in individual and couples therapy, this is a toxic mistake he regularly sees couples make. We say, I get it. I completely understand where you’re coming from. I totally hear you. I appreciate what you’re saying. Ironically, this makes our partners feel less heard and less understood and less appreciated, Kingman said. And it tends to deepen any conflict. The reality is that you can’t decide if you’ve heard and understood your partner. Only your partner can. In other words, if they tell you that they feel heard and understood, then you’ve heard and understood th...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Marriage and Divorce Relationships Self-Help Communication Dating Intimacy Source Type: blogs