4 Steps to Making Any Change You Desire

Lucy was drawing to a close in her counseling work with me when she said “You know, this isn’t how I thought I would feel.” “What do you mean?” I asked her. “When I started counseling,” she said, “I thought I’d have to become a completely different person in order to be happier. That I had to fix a deficiency in some way that seemed impossible and overwhelming. But it turns out that this feeling I have now — of lightness, of possibility, of more confidence and trust in myself — I just needed to lean into that more. Asking myself ‘in the moment’ if something is right for me is not selfish, but is actually kinder to others as well as me. I’m pleasantly surprised and so relieved that I didn’t need to transform into someone else to be more content.” It’s a common misconception: That in order to be happier and love ourselves more we need to change to become someone more lovable. We need to transform. The problem with that thinking is this: When does it stop? When will you ever be “enough”? The truth is, it actually works more the other way around. Whenever we try and make a big change — in how we behave or in a significant part of our life that is unsatisfactory (a job, a relationship) — we often wait for that magical moment when it will all ‘fall into place’. We’re looking for a catalyst, a sign that ‘this is the right time’. What you really need is to decide that THIS is...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Habits Happiness Psychotherapy Stories Self-Esteem Self-Help Embracing Change Personal Growth Success Source Type: blogs