The reasons we stay friends with an ex

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have remained close since their “conscious uncoupling” in 2014 By Emma Young Why do we sometimes stay friends with ex-partners? There may be many reasons, but according to a new paper in Personality and Individual Differences they fall into seven main categories – and men and women don’t quite see eye-to-eye on them. The research also found that certain personality traits were related to motivations for staying friends after a break-up. Justin Mogilski and Lisa Welling at Oakland University, US, asked a group of 348 volunteers to think of as many reasons as possible for why two former partners might want to remain friends. This resulted in a 153-item list. A second group of hundreds more people – all of whom who had gone through at least one break-up (and were overwhelmingly exclusively heterosexual) – rated the importance of each item on a scale of 1 – 5. Then they completed personality questionnaires, including one tapping features of pathological personality, such as the tendency to experience negative emotions, antagonism (aggression and grandiosity), and sensation-seeking. From the ratings, Mogilski and Welling identified seven main categories of reason for wanting to stay friends with an ex: Reliability/sentimentality (e.g. “They made me a better person.”) Pragmatism (e.g. “They had a lot of money.”) Continued romantic attraction (e.g. “I still had feelings for them.”) Children and shared resource...
Source: BPS RESEARCH DIGEST - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Dating Gender Personality Social Source Type: blogs